The Jacket.

24 04 2018

A few weeks back, I found the most perfect jacket I’ve ever seen on the trustworthy ASOS website, but it had sold out.

So I used Google Image to see if I could find it elsewhere, but it seemed that only ASOS had sold it.

Then I came across another site, it had the jacket, and I wanted it, I wanted it so badly that the following took place.

The calm, rathional part of me was looking at the site going “This is wrong”, but the crazy “Fuck everything, let’s do this!!!” part of me took over.

They had the jacket, further more they had all sizes of the jacket in stock, or so the page said.

Chrome wouldn’t fill in my credit card number, the second hint, nor would they accept PayPal, but I typed my number in anyway.

Pressed send.

The next concern was no e-mail came with a receipt nor advice on when my package might arrive.

Tonight I googled info on the site and found it to be high risk.
I really don’t know why I did this, desperation for a badly wanted item? I rarely ever want something so badly that I go crazy for it.

I could have checked, but I *believed* everything would be ok.

And belief is never any replacement for facts.

Stung yes, but it’s only money, I’m still alive and still here!


Numero Fuuuuuuno

22 07 2011

I browse the internet daily, and what do I see?

10 Best…
50 Mindblowing…
20 Breathtaking…
14 Outstanding…
11 Steps…
40 illustrious…
35 Brilliant…
23 Marvelous…

You get the drift.

Can anyone manage to come up with a clever title which does not begin with a number anymore?


Wildsex Days

6 09 2010

The time had come to think about making my very first website, this was in the mid 90s.

Websites at the time were rather flat and not all that interesting, they were usually rather dry scientific pages, or sci-fi or terrible porn sites… terrible because you’d never get any porn, each link promised something free until you hit the 50th link where it would finally ask you for money and install adware all over your pc.

I wanted to do something different, and perhaps stir people up with the subject matter.

Animals rooting, that was it.
* Rooting is the Aussie word for Intercourse.

I found some pretty crappy wildlife photos of animals doing it and arranged them into something that looked somewhat attractive and added some text.

It looked a bit like an early version of Cracked.

The page was launched and I sat back and waited for the hate mail to flood in from fundies or anyone who felt that the subject matter would hurt their virgin eyes.

Amazingly it gained a following of loyal readers, who not only liked what they saw, but contributed like mad.

Suddenly I had photos of horses and other animals hard at it, and I posted what I considered the best… by this time I had too many to put on my website, and uploading on dialup took ages anyway.

None of these photos were any worse than you’d see on Discovery.

Except the pictures had to be of Mammals, My theory was that documentaries were scared of showing mammals having sex, it was a bit close to the bone, so they’d give the audience the old “birds and bugs treatment” which was less confronting.

I wanted to be as confronting as possible.

Some contributors sent videos, horse owners in particular seemed very proud to show off.

There was this one guy who filmed, yes with actual film, two percheron horses mating… the camera must have been positioned somewhere near the stallions rear legs, looking upwards. You could clearly see how everything worked, it was a remarkable bit of footage, and must have been rather dangerous to film. But nobody else had dared do such a thing, and if they had, would it have ever been shown on TV? I began to realise how amazing the internet could be.

Eventually I had a mountain of photos and videos, and people wanted to see everything I had, so I started selling zip discs, which sold, and allowed me to buy a CD-R which I ran on my P-100 Packard-Bell.

The CDs sold so well that they paid for two new computers.

One of the guys from the ISP phoned me and I thought he was going to tell me off for being a perve and to please remove the page and not do it again. but he told me that Wildsex accounted for most of the ISPs visitors, and that he loved it like everyone else, and wanted me to continue.

We’re talking about a small, privately owned, apana network ISP.

A breeder over in the US sent me an artificial vagina for a bull and a condom for a horse. The AV was enormous, I still have it. I keep it beside my bed incase I get an intruder… If I ever have to use it, I hope I can view the police report.

“Intruder was hit on the head by a large rubber breeding device for bovines”.

Some of you may know that I like furry art, well a lot of artists had no real idea of how animals went about it or what animal genitals looked like and often got their art a bit wrong as a result, but now the artists had their models and adult furry art changed in a big way.

About two years later, The Powerhouse Museum in Sydney ran an exhibition called Wildsex which was all the same sort of stuff that was shown on my page, and then Channel Nine aired a documentary with the same name which was hosted by Don Burke, I got no credit for any of it.

After about three years, the steam ran out, people had copied my concept and those pages were getting more visitors than mine was now getting. and I was feeling a bit more creative and wanted to do something else.

I moved on, closed Wildsex for good, and then created an entirely new page which was popular in it’s own right, although much much tamer than my first effort… a Harry Potter Fanfic page, which is still there, untouched, as I find webpages tricky and time consuming to make, I’m happier sticking to my blogs, facebook and twitter now.

Interestingly, the entire time that Wildsex was available, I got one solitary complaint, that was all.