Toilets, We’re doing it wrong.

7 03 2012

Toilets are badly designed.

At least from a Mans perspective, Like a dog, a Man was made to pee on trees, not squat on the ground.

So your standard toilet WILL cause splashing, which will annoy women, on top of the old argument about  how the seat should be positioned.

The standard toilet also wastes lots of water.

Tell me if I’m wrong, but I think we should have something for the males to use when we go to the toilet.

And I think it should look like this.

A small bowl on the wall, at about penis height, it’s a bit larger than a coffee cup, and we can stand and put the end of our penis into this and pee, comfortably, without causing a mess.

When it flushes, it uses about a cup of water to do so.

Because it’s just pee and water, then the fluid could be piped out to the citrus trees in the garden, rather than go down the sewer where it’s wasted. 

and the trees would love it.

The unit would be quick and easy to clean.

I’ve had this idea for many years, some think it’s a joke but I feel it’s entirely practical.

I feel that blokes and standard toilets just don’t go together well at all, unless we’re sitting…

Either we change, and stop the stupid Woman Vs Man arguments now, or engineer a proper toilet for the fellas which is clean, at the proper height, uses less water per flush and is good for the environment.




On being caught short.

27 02 2011

I took Katie for a walk today, and we wended our way at an easy pace to the creek, which has a lovely big park around it, including small patches of forest, sort of, just thin stands of trees and bushes really, but it looks very nice anyway.

The park is a fair hike from where I live, this is important to keep in mind as the story progresses.

Anyway, we were almost ready to leave, when I got the first “twinge”, I thought I’d have to “Go”, and began to wonder if I could hold on till I got home.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Eyeballs beginning to float. I started our walk home.

Now I began to think about Coles, which wasn’t far away, certainly a lot closer than home was, It would be easy to go there, lug Katie in with me, relieve myself and be on my way, feeling a lot lighter and happier.

So off we went, down the road, past the Baptist Church (Pray for me, ok?), Holding it in, getting closer, through the car park, up to Coles and….

The Toilets were locked and bolted shut, How could they? These toilets have never been locked before, why now?

I was in serious trouble, the time I had spent coming here could have gone towards getting home, how dare they close the public toilets, couldn’t they at least offer a commode, or a goes-under?

I was desperate.

I stood outside of Coles just staring at the gate, with Katie panting beside me.
A Mum with three little girls came up behind me and wanted a cuddle of a certain big doggie, I was polite and let the girls have a pat, but now was not the time or place.

We walked back.

There was no way I was going to make it home, I was going to explode, I walked back past the Baptist Church, considering asking if I could use theirs, they could convert me, anything they liked, as long as I could meet their pretty potty.

My insticts kicked in, this was a dire emergency… I had to go in the trees at the park,
it was that or wet myself in public, the choices weren’t good.

As I waddled back to the park, I found a plastic drink cup, and grabbed it, then hiked back to the forest with a big dog who wanted to stop and sniff the grass along the way.

Malamutes are supposed to pull, but most of the time I pull her along.

Finally I found a nice set of bushes where I could have some privacy, and used the cup, sweet blessed relief.

I’m a very private person, I won’t use the urinal in the men’s dunny because I have what they term a “shy bladder”, which probably stems from the activities of bullies at high-school, so I always go in a cubicle where I can be private and lock myself in.

So this was not my area.

I watch Katie sit and pee wherever she likes, without social pressures, it’s even expected in her species.

Another reason I’m not coming back as a human next time around.