We, The People (Part 1) by Wolfie Rankin

9 12 2013

“We, The People” – Wolfie Rankin

The Doctor sighed and leaned against the inside door of the TARDIS, alone once again. His travel partner Hansel Stencil had fallen in love with a giant Tharg called Mangolin, and the two were engaged.

The Doctor really didn’t think Hansel had it in him, He’d known there had been a thing between them ever since, what was referred to as “the incident”.

He wiped a finger under his nose and pushed himself towards the console, and slumped over it.

The little lights twinkled in his eyes, like a child looking at lights on a Christmas tree, it was a sight that despite all of his years of looking at it, he’d never tire of.

He let out a long breath, and took his purple jacket off and hung it on his coat rack, He was exhausted.

He needed to go somewhere, somewhere nice, somewhere  he could sit and think for a while, perhaps read a book or two, He hadn’t done that in some time, He needed time and time needed him.

“What a corny line” He muttered under his breath.

“You’re not supposed to pass commentary on my writing, Doctor” I typed.

He let out a sudden puff of air, which may have passed for a laugh.

“Buttons, Switches, Knobs, Levers” He said as he ran his hand over all of them.

“It’s not so much about what is pressed, but how you press it, and that is how you “Fly” A TARDIS”

He almost casually flipped one tiny toggle switch and the entire TARDIS shuddered, then he pressed three buttons, spun around, grabbed hold of a lever, and pushed it down.

The TARDIS sprang to life, tiny lights like stars pulsed and flickered across the ceiling, while the column in the centre rose and fell, the machine breathing, conscious, alive.

The familiar sound signalling the TARDIS was leaving reverberated from every wall and…

“If you’re really going to follow me around, you could at least make yourself useful” said The Doctor, Clearly frustrated that he was not quite as alone as he would like… He made a flippant gesture with His hand and said “Make me a coffee”.

“You drink Coffee?” I typed, Questioning the man who…

“Yes, I do, or I did, I just started, again, I think” He pressed something and got a slight shock “ow”, He shook his hand in pain.

“You don’t have a coffee maker” I typed.

“That’s beside the point” he countered, displeased, burnt, frazzled.

He sucked his finger.

Three tiny stalks rose from a panel on the console, a balloon inflated on each with a squeak.

The Doctor leaned down to examine them, “That’s interesting” he thought aloud, “very interesting indeed”  as an arm reached out and pressed a toggle switch, and his foot pushed a pedal to the floor.

The TARDIS shuddered slightly, and the column in the middle of the console stopped.

He pressed a switch and the doors opened.

Warm daylight filled the inside of the TARDIS, and The Doctor walked outside, breathed deeply, and stretched.

The TARDIS had appeared in a field of what could have been wheat, which bent and twisted in the wind. Further out were manicured hills of green, and a few had trees on them.

He was about to take a step further out, when he looked down and saw a beetle with the shiny body of gold, sitting there amongst the grass, He bobbed down and noticed that there were quite a few beetles around, all with differently coloured bodies.

One with a red body buzzed around The Doctors jacket and settled upon his lapel.

The Doctor smiled “I shall name you Paul”.

He pulled out a whistle from his jacket pocket and blew it, on hearing this, the TARDIS opened a great blue and white awning around itself, with a muffled sort of floomph.

A beach chair was shoved out of the TARDIS door and came to an abrupt stop right next to The Doctor, on top of it were a pair of sunglasses, a book, and an after dinner mint.

“Thankyou Kindly” The Doctor said to the TARDIS, “This looks perfect”.
He put the sunglasses on and laid on the chair.

He looked at the cover of the book “Beastly Boys and Ghastly Girls by Roald Dahl, Excellent!”

As he read his book, Pauls friends examined the chair legs, which had been placed very carefully by the TARDIS so as not to harm the tiny folk in the grass.

The sun moved across the sky and both warm air and comfy chair let The Doctor drift to sleep, without a care.

“Hello” said a voice.

The Doctor woke and looked around, He spotted a tall man with fair skin, dressed in white, who was carrying a teapot.

“Hello” said The Doctor, to the unexpected arrival.

“My Name is Farrell, I spotted you here on your own and wondered if you would like some tea, and maybe a chat… or perhaps you’d rather sleep?”

Simon Fisher-Becker Interview

3 09 2013

Radio Wolf returns to Air Digital Radio Tomorrow Night at 10pm Melbourne Time.

On the menu will be a mix of 70’s and 80s music, rarely heard songs, Extended Mixes, Mashups and of course Comedy.

And Featuring a fifty minute interview with Simon Fisher-Becker from Doctor Who.

Listen live from anywhere on the Planet and selected parts of the Galaxy.

* If for any reason you have trouble listening, please read the instructions on the website, that is what they are for!

Review: TARDIS Tea Pot and Biscuit Jar.

26 09 2012

So, here’s a quick review of my TARDIS Tea Pot and Biscuit jar.

The Products are made of ceramic, and come from Zeon (UK)

Well, I liked what I saw straight away.

I had the mugs before and liked the fact that they felt heavy and solid, and maybe I like that because I’m a bloke.

However the teapot had a fragility about it, so I’m a little nervous about handling it, the sides don’t look all that thick, But it’s not too thin, it should be fine really, and isn’t china supposed to be like that?

Questions had been raised about how well it would pour, but I can assure you that it doesn’t spill and pours quite well.

I noticed a small scratch in the lid, which I was a little annoyed about, but that could have happened at any time from manufacture to shipping, and as Mum would say “I wouldn’t stop a horse to look at it” call it “character lines”? yeah, I think so.

The Biscuit Jar was smaller than I had imagined, but was absolutely huge on the inside! oh come on, I had to say it.

Actually it was smaller than I thought it would be, but during testing proved to be large enough, even for my larger home made bikkies, so the verdict here is there will be plenty of room for your Tim Tams.

It felt a fraction more solid than the teapot too.

There’s a nice tight seal on the lid, so the cockroaches are definitely going hungry, and it should keep the air out too.

Popcultcha had been waiting for orders from the UK for months, but they sent out their orders on the very day they arrived, they took photos of staff packing them up for delivery and posted them to their Facebook page.

My orders arrived a day after they posted their packages, which was great!

The boxes were well packed and as delicate as the contents were, everything was in very good order.

I’m very pleased, I think any #doctorwho fan would love to have these,
so a big thumbs up!

And well done to the people at @Popcultcha too!



Why it’s bigger on the inside.

19 08 2012

This post is about the famous TARDIS and why it’s bigger on the inside.

Now, before I begin, I know this will cause argument, I know also that fans will point to that thing The Doctor said in that particular episode… Though I think by now most of you know “The Doctor Lies”.

In any case, this is just a nice little experiment in expanding the mind, it’s not a fictional story, but what I thought may actually make it work, the size thing, I have been pondering this for quite some time.

Not that it matters, but perhaps I should add that the series began in 1963, while I began in 1965, and ABC has been broadcasting the series since the beginning… The word TARDIS has been coming out of the speaker of our television sets for many years now.

Let’s begin.

I would like you to imagine two spaces, this space… and that space.
This space is exactly that, THIS space, it is everything you can see, including the air, the sky and us.

That space, is the other space and that space is somehow integrated with this space.

Now I’d like you to imagine that This space, you, the table, the floor, the sky, your dog and I are all drawn on an un-inflated balloon… we’re all quite small, unless someone inflates the balloon, and then we all stretch out.

The TARDIS is like the air in that Balloon, and when it lands, everything bulges out like pictures on the skin of a balloon… except… we don’t notice it, because everything else has bulged out too… we don’t feel it, it doesn’t matter to any of us.

But there’s an interface, a facade between the ship, the inner part of the TARDIS, which is the Police Box, which exists in this space… open the doors and cross the threshold and suddenly you realise that it’s not a Police Box thing which has appeared, much more like a Super Tanker, yet it’s done no damage at all to this space, and your body snaps back to it’s apparent original shape.

Of course objects are going through this space all the time, distorting and stretching things like carnival mirrors or a mouse under a rug, we simply don’t notice.

And we could, once in the TARDIS look out and see everything stretching like mad, but what would be the use of that, so the ship provides compensation so that everything appears to be “Normal”.
Does that sound reasonable?


Sci Fi Sci

31 05 2012

I’ve come up with an interesting idea for a science series, which is part Sci fi and part factual.

What if you could have Doctor Who (An expert on time) host a show about fossils, travelling back in time, in his TARDIS, to explain how things looked thousands of years ago, giving an insight into the natural history of Earth?

Or Jean-Luc Picard hosting a show about the local planets, from the Enterprise itself?

Now we’ve had actors providing their voice for these sorts of shows before, but never in character. This would not be a voice over job for the actor, but a chance for the viewer to accompany the character on a ride through time and space, and learning about real science along the way.

This would be how “Sci Fi Sci” would work.

Obviously this would require film and TV companies getting together and giving their OK , I’m thinking about rights issues, but if done well, it could be quite an exciting, and entertaining documentary series.

“Sci Fi Sci” (c) Wolfie Rankin 2012 – All Rights Reserved


TARDIS Builders Australia

16 11 2011

I have a strange and possibly stupid idea in my head where I want to build a TARDIS, no, not a toy one… a big one, an authentic Matt Smith “Police Box”.

I intend to keep it in my house and have it be a point of interest, and also a useful article.

Although I’ve never built a damn thing in my life, I’d like to try, although I have severe reservations about doing so.

One of the things which would be nice to try, is to make it from good, recycled timber, which I hope would be cheaper, as I don’t have much to spend.

Yes, Money is tight… but perhaps if I learn how to do this, perhaps I can then apply what I’ve learnt so that I can fix up bits of my house.

Also, I want a fun vibe in my house, why shouldn’t a home have a fun vibe?

I have created a group for this called TARDIS Builders Australia.

It exists as a Google Group and a G+ Group.

If you’d like to join, and read the bits and pieces I find from others who have tackled it… Yes others have done it… or to watch videos, on Police Boxes etc, join me… Perhaps something wonderful can end up getting done.


E-mail tardis-builders-australia@googlegroups.com

The TARDIS lamp and hardware box.

26 09 2011

I often get thoughts and don’t write them down or tell anyone, I suppose it’s the same for most of us.

But here’s one that won’t escape and perhaps some Doctor Who fans would like it.

I’m thinking about a mini TARDIS, you all should know what that looks like.

The idea is that it’s supposed to look like a decorative item, and nothing more, however.

One of the panels can be removed, via a trick. See it’s got items inside it which you’ve hidden from thieves, It’s kind of unlikely that someone is going to want to make off with a cumbersome TARDIS.

Once this panel is off, you find that you have access to an area which is only a few centimeters deep, for accessing the lighting, small neon or flouro lights like you might use in a computer case mod, and these shine through the frosted glass panels on the side of the TARDIS.

However, a second panel comes off, there’s a trick to that too, which has shelving for external hard drives.

These hard drives are wired in and are turned on with the lighting, there is also a hidden USB outlet under another hidden panel, so that you can plug your computer in.

There’s another shelf which is big enough to slide a laptop into, it may also contain a charger.

The TARDIS is probably no higher than most Peoples knee, so I’m not suggesting a huge box although I think a Life-Sized model would be extremely cool too.

So about enough room for six external drives (like the WD ones), better if they’re all
the one style, to fit in better… A super quiet fan, and hidden vents… You don’t want to give the game away that this is anything more than a mere lamp.

The doors should not look like doors, and would not open unless someone knew how it was done.

And perhaps the phone box on the outside of the TARDIS could function as a phone charger and would open easily, so that you could grab your phone in a hurry… and nobody would spot you opening secret doors.

And of course you could keep anything else in there too, photos, jewels etc.