No Mum, I’m not going to Church.

28 03 2013

Mum, You make me go to School and despite the bullies who threaten me daily, I go, because legally I have to, and because you make me.

So I suffer through it from Monday to Friday

But the weekend is mine, Mother.

If you want to me to go somewhere to learn to be a Naturalist, an Astronomer or to learn to play an instrument, that might be ok.

But you are not wasting my Sundays, by sending me off somewhere to learn bullshit, because that’s all it is, Mother… Bullshit.

And if that offends you so much that you’re going to threaten me with that old chestnut “I’ll pack your bags and throw you out” line, then come on Mother, I’ll help you pack those bags right now.



I’m sure people will read this and think My Mum was one of those horrible religious types, she really wasn’t, but she did have a religious upbringing (she was brain washed). My older Sister went to Sunday school, and I think Mum just wanted to keep up tradition somehow.

She had no gripes with anything David Attenborough said about evolution and had given it a little thought.

When she was mad at me she would sometimes let fly with “You’re a heathen like your bloody father” Poor Dad, he really did have more sense in this regard, but again, Mum had her doubts.

She would sometimes threaten to pack my bags and send me away, but she wouldn’t have.

I once lost my train ticket in the city and the phones had been vandalised at the station, I had to walk all the way back to school before I could even phone her… this was the 80’s. I found her in tears, thinking something had happened to me.

So where did this come from?

It’s fictional, I was letting off some steam in the kitchen just before, thinking about what I should have said back then, only I couldn’t have… I wasn’t as articulate as I am now, and I generally felt powerless.

If I could have faced her with this, she would have backed down, and we probably would have used those spare days to go to the country, or to have lunch in the hills, or to visit relatives.

Much more productive really, than going to church, Heck, staying at home watching cartoons on tv is more productive than going to church, you can learn valuable stuff, like Never buy Acme products and The spooky swamp creature is probably some twit wearing a mask.

No, Mum wasn’t the baddie, but I wish we’d had this conversation back then.



Pray for Japan? Really?

11 03 2011

I’ve been watching the terror which has overtaken Japan, there’s no need to review it, as images and news comes thick and fast via old and new media.

Twitter, as usual, is first with news from people who are right there, seeing it themselves, and this news is great to have, although I feel quite frightened for them when the situation is bad.

Then you start getting the weirdos.

The doomsayers who claim that a passage in the Bible or in a book by Nostradamus predicted the disaster and that soon it will wipe out the Human race.

And the other wing-nuts who tweet suggestions that perhaps if we all pray collectively, then somehow, with divine help, something good will happen.

Now pardon me, but this God, isn’t this God the same God who created the entire Universe and Everything?

Then if so, he should have the ability to stop something like this by thinking about it, right?

These religious people see how bad things are, and it’s an absolute tragedy, and somehow must think that it’s perfectly ok for this to happen, some insurance companies would call this “An act of God”, Yet somehow praying to this being will make things all nice and rosy.


Admit it, God, if he exists, is a bit of a prick.