Little black boys

19 08 2012

This post is probably going to annoy some of you, but I hope you understand its context… it is pretty racist.

There was a bizarre meme in our family which began with my Grandmother, as far as I can tell.

My Gran had died before my birth in 1965, and I understand that She married her Husband in 1900,
She grew up in a gold mining area near Ballarat, Education was very limited and of course She had God pushed into her from an early age.

My Gran, as far as I can tell, was a good Woman, although apparently fairly strict, but wasn’t always the most logical person.

Before I go further, I have wondered if she had been exposed to the same sort of education as myself, would she have said particular things? I think she would have been a different, and better person.

Anyway, She used to say this thing, which became a meme in our family, and whenever it was said, it was done in a kind of sarcastic way, recalling my Grandmother and her odd ways.

Eyebrows were raised, heads would shake, there’d be these rye smiles and a chuckle.

Whenever a new pot was bought into the house, a bottle, a jug, a new set of mugs, anything which could hold liquid, the meme would be uttered.

“Make sure you wash that first, a little black boy might’ve peed in it!”

Are you shocked? I totally agree if you are, it’s quite awful.

Mum used to wonder why the pee of a little black boy might be worse than the pee of anyone else, and why anyone would have peed on, or in, these containers at the point of their manufacture anyway?

Where did the phrase originate? Someone must’ve told my Gran, and I wonder by who and when?

And I wonder now, whether my Gran wasn’t the only one to utter those words, have you heard of it before?

On a side note, My gran also used to say “Don’t stand on that cold floor with your bare feet, the cold will go straight to your kidneys” Well we always thought that was odd, but years later I studied Chinese medicine and found, in that, the belief is a meridian line to your kidneys ends in your feet, and that standing on a cold floor is indeed bad for your kidneys (at least in Chinese medicine).

There were a lot of Chinese around gold fields, and herbalists… So the saying came from there.

I hadn’t thought about our mysterious little black boy, whoever he was, for quite some time.

However, I bought a nice green bowl today at Coles for when I have Thai Takeaway, and yes Gran, I washed the bowl thoroughly and raised an eyebrow in your memory.



On being caught short.

27 02 2011

I took Katie for a walk today, and we wended our way at an easy pace to the creek, which has a lovely big park around it, including small patches of forest, sort of, just thin stands of trees and bushes really, but it looks very nice anyway.

The park is a fair hike from where I live, this is important to keep in mind as the story progresses.

Anyway, we were almost ready to leave, when I got the first “twinge”, I thought I’d have to “Go”, and began to wonder if I could hold on till I got home.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Eyeballs beginning to float. I started our walk home.

Now I began to think about Coles, which wasn’t far away, certainly a lot closer than home was, It would be easy to go there, lug Katie in with me, relieve myself and be on my way, feeling a lot lighter and happier.

So off we went, down the road, past the Baptist Church (Pray for me, ok?), Holding it in, getting closer, through the car park, up to Coles and….

The Toilets were locked and bolted shut, How could they? These toilets have never been locked before, why now?

I was in serious trouble, the time I had spent coming here could have gone towards getting home, how dare they close the public toilets, couldn’t they at least offer a commode, or a goes-under?

I was desperate.

I stood outside of Coles just staring at the gate, with Katie panting beside me.
A Mum with three little girls came up behind me and wanted a cuddle of a certain big doggie, I was polite and let the girls have a pat, but now was not the time or place.

We walked back.

There was no way I was going to make it home, I was going to explode, I walked back past the Baptist Church, considering asking if I could use theirs, they could convert me, anything they liked, as long as I could meet their pretty potty.

My insticts kicked in, this was a dire emergency… I had to go in the trees at the park,
it was that or wet myself in public, the choices weren’t good.

As I waddled back to the park, I found a plastic drink cup, and grabbed it, then hiked back to the forest with a big dog who wanted to stop and sniff the grass along the way.

Malamutes are supposed to pull, but most of the time I pull her along.

Finally I found a nice set of bushes where I could have some privacy, and used the cup, sweet blessed relief.

I’m a very private person, I won’t use the urinal in the men’s dunny because I have what they term a “shy bladder”, which probably stems from the activities of bullies at high-school, so I always go in a cubicle where I can be private and lock myself in.

So this was not my area.

I watch Katie sit and pee wherever she likes, without social pressures, it’s even expected in her species.

Another reason I’m not coming back as a human next time around.