Introducing Wolfies Law of Pants and Jiggly Bits.

16 09 2012

Written for Furry Artists, and for those working with realistic looking creatures in film.

When a realistic half human character is drawn naked, then they should come complete with the genitals of their sex and species.

If the Artist is concerned about drawing Genitalia or Breasts,
then they must put clothing on their character.

The Artist must never draw a character naked and WITHOUT genitals.

If a scene requires nudity, such as when the character is showering, and the artist does not wish to have genitals on show, then they must use a device to cover the characters equipment… such as a towel, sponge, soap dish, or rampant Frankfurter.

(Frankfurter, not Frank N Furter… but then, why not?)

like in that nude scene from the Austin Powers movies.

But a naked character should never be seen without genitals if viewed in full (or closeup, I suppose)

Having a character without genitals is obnoxious and stupid, why would you normally leave a nose off your characters face? You wouldn’t, so don’t crop other parts off your character.

Morals be damned, it’s your body, your cock isn’t demon-spawn, and your breasts aren’t satans fun bags for idle hands. (not unless you’re lucky) and Kids aren’t going to freak out about it, most have a dog and many have been to a farm or a zoo at one stage or another and know what goes on.

Have you even known a kid to not be fascinated when an Elephant has a pee?

And a hint, if you do clothe your characters, give them a bit of a lump where things should be, a boy is after all, still a boy, even if he’s a wolf, eh?





Sci Fi Sci

31 05 2012

I’ve come up with an interesting idea for a science series, which is part Sci fi and part factual.

What if you could have Doctor Who (An expert on time) host a show about fossils, travelling back in time, in his TARDIS, to explain how things looked thousands of years ago, giving an insight into the natural history of Earth?

Or Jean-Luc Picard hosting a show about the local planets, from the Enterprise itself?

Now we’ve had actors providing their voice for these sorts of shows before, but never in character. This would not be a voice over job for the actor, but a chance for the viewer to accompany the character on a ride through time and space, and learning about real science along the way.

This would be how “Sci Fi Sci” would work.

Obviously this would require film and TV companies getting together and giving their OK , I’m thinking about rights issues, but if done well, it could be quite an exciting, and entertaining documentary series.

“Sci Fi Sci” (c) Wolfie Rankin 2012 – All Rights Reserved

Wolfie!





Mary Poppins

13 01 2011

One day, I was asked by a friend if I wanted to go to the cinema and see a film, I agreed and when saturday rolled around, we met at Flinders Street as we usually did.

Then we did our usual shopping which involved chocolates at Darrell Lea, Books at Myer, Virgin Records and Sci-fi items at Minotaur.

We arrived at Greater Union, which had just opened it’s doors for that morning, and bought our tickets.

My friend went off to the toilet and I waited in the foyer, which was filling up with people.

Then a boy with downs syndrome appeared right in front of me, and he grinned one of those broad smiles that they do, he looked about my age, or younger, and then he said “We’re going to see Mary Poppins!” and I could tell that he was really excited about that, yet it was odd… He was about our age, and had he been, normal, then he probably would have wanted to see the same film that we were about to see.

I was about to say “Why, it’s been on TV a few times” but I just couldn’t, He was happy, so I think I replied with “That’s a good movie” and I think he said “Yeah”. Then he asked me what I was going to see, and I told him, He didn’t ask me what it was about, and I didn’t see much point in explaining the complexities.

Then someone else, a parent or helper, hustled him gently away… I think there might have been other kids like him, but my memory is vague.

My friend returned and we went to get our seats.

Now if He had been “normal” like us, then he probably would have wanted to see what we were going to see,
But here’s the strangest thing, although I remember this incident and the film he was going to see…

… I have no memory of what we saw that day.

Perhaps I would have been just as happy with Mary Poppins too.

Wolfie!





Facts Vs Belief

15 10 2010

I thought of a way to show students the importance of fact over belief.

Tonight I watched the 1958 version of The Blob, the entire thing is on
Youtube, cut into ten minute sections… I’ve watched a few old films
this way.

Now…

You ask the students to pretend they’re reporters for a paper which has
a good name based upon it’s factual stories (no gossip columns here!).

You’re a reporter from the town in which The Blob eats several people,
Your job is to write down, in order, who was eaten.

Now at this point you may want to watch the film yourself.

For those who want me to continue, here’s the rest.

The blob eats, in order…

The Old man who finds the meteorite in the hole.
The Nurse,
The Doctor,
The Mechanic,
The Janitor at the supermarket.
The Projectionist at the cinema.

It has possibly eaten several people at the cinema… and I noticed that when they show the audience on the inside of the cinema, and then the audience running out terrified, that there seemed to be four times the amount of people crashing out the doors.

Anyway, the point is that although the janitor was missing, his items left dumped on the floor of the supermarket, he’s believed to have been eaten… but he could have got away.

And I wonder how many viewers would be convinced that he was eaten, even when there’s no proof that he was.

There’s also the issue of the little dog.

While the heroes of the story are stuck in a supermarket fridge, you hear the little dog, formerly owned by the old man, give a yelp.

We assume that the blob got the little dog, but once the couple escape from the supermarket, we hear one of the other teenagers say that they saw the little dog running terrified up the street.

The questions which could arise here are:

* Did the blob eat the dog?
* Did the dog escape like the teenager said?
* or was the teenager mistaken, since it could have been a dog which looked the same, which just happened to be passing in that direction?

It’s just a thought, it might be a fun lesson, and could lead to some
really good discussion… best of all, it leaves theology out of the
picture, so certain students wouldn’t block the lesson out as soon as
you mention the E word.

Wolfie!