29 03 2013

I don’t get it.

So there’s this guy called Jesus and his Dad is God.

And Jesus says Dad, This is going to fucking hurt like shit, but forgive the stupid bastards because they’re a sheep short of a flock, so just let them go.

And God goes “Ok Son, Whatever”

What the fuck?

If I was God, I would have roasted the buggers right there on the spot, Jesus Fucking… oh wait… But yeah, There would have been Hell to pay.

I would have zapped their arses and made their balls drop off, that’d show them, and then I’d roast them, Nobody would be nailing MY Son to a fucking cross.

The only thing that might have stopped me would’ve been Mrs God.

“Mother, they’re nailing our Son to a fucking cross, I’m going to fuck some shit up royally”

“Now Now Dear, Jesus is just playing with his weird friends, you know how kids are”

“But Dear, I don’t like it, I never did any of that shit in my day, I’m putting a stop to it”

“No you won’t, you’ll keep out of it, That Boy is big enough and old enough to know right from wrong and if he does the wrong thing then it won’t be any skin off our noses”

“But but, nails and shit”

“NO, Just sit in your chair and shut up”

“Yes dear… *mumblemumble* jesus christ”


No Mum, I’m not going to Church.

28 03 2013

Mum, You make me go to School and despite the bullies who threaten me daily, I go, because legally I have to, and because you make me.

So I suffer through it from Monday to Friday

But the weekend is mine, Mother.

If you want to me to go somewhere to learn to be a Naturalist, an Astronomer or to learn to play an instrument, that might be ok.

But you are not wasting my Sundays, by sending me off somewhere to learn bullshit, because that’s all it is, Mother… Bullshit.

And if that offends you so much that you’re going to threaten me with that old chestnut “I’ll pack your bags and throw you out” line, then come on Mother, I’ll help you pack those bags right now.



I’m sure people will read this and think My Mum was one of those horrible religious types, she really wasn’t, but she did have a religious upbringing (she was brain washed). My older Sister went to Sunday school, and I think Mum just wanted to keep up tradition somehow.

She had no gripes with anything David Attenborough said about evolution and had given it a little thought.

When she was mad at me she would sometimes let fly with “You’re a heathen like your bloody father” Poor Dad, he really did have more sense in this regard, but again, Mum had her doubts.

She would sometimes threaten to pack my bags and send me away, but she wouldn’t have.

I once lost my train ticket in the city and the phones had been vandalised at the station, I had to walk all the way back to school before I could even phone her… this was the 80’s. I found her in tears, thinking something had happened to me.

So where did this come from?

It’s fictional, I was letting off some steam in the kitchen just before, thinking about what I should have said back then, only I couldn’t have… I wasn’t as articulate as I am now, and I generally felt powerless.

If I could have faced her with this, she would have backed down, and we probably would have used those spare days to go to the country, or to have lunch in the hills, or to visit relatives.

Much more productive really, than going to church, Heck, staying at home watching cartoons on tv is more productive than going to church, you can learn valuable stuff, like Never buy Acme products and The spooky swamp creature is probably some twit wearing a mask.

No, Mum wasn’t the baddie, but I wish we’d had this conversation back then.


Welcome to the Dark Ages, Part II.

11 10 2012

I saw this guy today.

He’s apparently the Science and Technology adviser to the Republican Party.

Apparently “Evolution is a lie from the pit of hell”

Are you voting Republican this year?

If they win, I’m going to be so very glad I live in Australia, but I will be very sad to think that a smart, tech savvy nation has sunk back into the dark ages.

Do you really want guys like this in power?


A Good Christian

6 09 2012

Something came up on twitter about good christians, that is an oxymoron in my book.

Centuries ago, the religious would have burnt people like myself at the stake for saying God doesn’t exist, and I reckon they’d still try it on if it was legal… people are still killed and tortured for more progressive thoughts in some other countries even today.

As it is, they’re still trying to stop gay people from having a reasonable life, medical advances such as Stem Cell technology which may stop diseases such as cancer and parkinsons, and interfering in things which they have no business in holding back.

These are quite often the very same lot who deny climate change, but are perfectly happy thinking that burning bushes can talk, snakes can pervert women and a bloke can build a boat which holds over four million animals.

There is no “Good Christian”


14 05 2012
We are living in 2012, and who is holding us back from the future?
Right wing religious buffoons.
We can’t have freedom to love who we want,
We can’t have stem cells which may fix a plethora of disease
Scientists are apparently stupid
and Climate Change isn’t happening
I had cancer in 2005, and I know very well where I’d be if I’d had a horde of priests and nuns praying that I’d get better, instead of the medical science and skill which did in fact make me better.
I refuse to give the religious one moment of my time, I have put a sign on my letterbox which reads “No Religious Propaganda” did they ignore it? Of course! Because I’m so in need of the word of God or something.
I tear it up and put it straight in the bin.
I have fought and argued with you dinosaurs over and over, and all you do is quote passages from your pathetic book.
Well no more, 

You’re a Christian?

Fuck off.

Missionary man

10 08 2010

I’m feeling downright pissed off over the twitter messages and deleted (sort of) webpage by Wendy Francis, Her rampant homophobia is clearly evident, even if she denies it.

but to then have Gary Burns from One Nation chime in and say that he appreciated Wendys tweet and then to add that he likes to bash “phoofters” is just horrific.

A type of personality exists, where if a person carries a holy book and they believe in invisible fairy people in the sky, then somehow they may have an inflated view of their own morals. They feel perfectly happy to tell us what we ought to do, many of them are in favour of filtering our internet so that we can’t see pictures of people making love, in our own homes… which to me is far more natural than praying to unlikely gods in the sky.

But how can the self-righteous nits think that their moral codes are so much better than our own, when ours don’t include a fear of sexuality or race?

These people are happy to spread all kinds of nasty lies, fear and guilt, and embed cruel and frightening notions of hell into our kids heads. while discouraging proven ideas such as the age of the earth and that dinosaurs actually lived.

They’re holding our kids at ransom, fervently serving Jesus on a plate when Evolution is swept under the carpet, why is Religion taught at schools when physics and biology is not taught at Church?

They’ve managed through their fear mongering to hold back science and medicine, such as stem-cell technology which could have already freed us from Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

I thought Christians were supposed to “Love thy neighbour”

Via their religious views they seem to feel it’s ok to go and slander people with differing sexual orientations, to bother people who have done nothing wrong other than be born in a different country, or declare a “just war” because they have their God on their side.

These people with their mad ideas also seem, despite their holy books telling them to live in peace, the very ones most likely to wish to bare arms… why is it that the religious nutters are almost always gun enthusiasts too?

These people with their God, their Holy book, their Guns and a bizarre national pride make very dangerous human beings.

While they are keen to tell us that Gay Marriage will damage society completely, I urge you to look closely at what these people have done, and will continue to do.

Their hatred causes shame, and that shame causes some gentler members of our community to fall into depression and commit suicide and I don’t think that has done much good for society at all… just think, some of the brightest people in our community, who had the potential to save us from ourselves, thrown on the scrapheap because someone couldn’t deal with where they wanted to put their penis.

Although we tolerate them, as indeed we must, at times it is extremely difficult when faced with the dreadful utterances and backward ideals that they harbour.

They will tell us that we haven’t moved forward, and yet we have… nobody puts boxing gloves on their teenage sons to prevent masturbation in bed anymore (at least I hope not), Women can vote, and drive, it’s perfectly ok to go shopping in a bikini on a very hot day if you like, Black people can marry white people if they wish and shops can remain open on a sunday.

If gay people want to get married, then why not? what does it matter to you where they spill their seed? you won’t be in their bedroom… standing there at the foot of the bed with your Bible, preaching Jesus at the top of your lungs while David penetrates Steve’s hot rear end with his nine-inch love-tool? No, Didn’t think so… so who cares what they do?

And in truth they just might be having a relaxing night on the couch together, watching a Bambi DVD… Yes, the Disney film, with the deer.

But then I always knew you had a filthy mind.

“Missionary Man” Eurythmics