Why I stopped Playing Video Games

5 06 2012

Amstrad 646 User

“Asian Shitkicker” is an awesome new game where two people of asian appearances, fight to the death in a no holds barred game which will set your joystick on fire, the parallax scrolling is smooth and the character sprites handle very nicely. It’s quite a lot of fun when one of their little heads pop off after a good kicking and a spurt of blood shoots out, accompanied by a rather convincing sampled sound. We give it 9/10.

Megadrive Megablaster

“Mega Asian Shitkicker” is an awesome new 16 bit game where two people of asian appearances, fight to the death in a no holds barred game which will set your joypad on fire, the parallax scrolling is smooth and the character sprites handle very nicely. It’s quite a lot of fun when one of their little heads pop off after a good kicking and a spurt of blood shoots out, accompanied by a rather convincing sampled sound. We give it 9/10.

Amiga Sixteen

“Amiga Asian Shitkicker” is an awesome new 16 bit game where two people of asian appearances, fight to the death in a no holds barred game which will set your joypad on fire, the scrolling is smooth, even in HAM mode, and the character sprites handle very nicely. It’s quite a lot of fun when one of their little heads pop off after a good kicking and a spurt of blood shoots out, accompanied by a rather convincing sampled sound. Does take a while to load as it comes on ten floppies. Great soundtrack too. We give it 9/10.

Super Nintendo Wave

“Super Asian Shitkicker” is an awesome new 16 bit game where two people of asian appearances, fight to the death in a no holds barred game which will set your joypad on fire, the mode 7 is smooth and the character sprites handle very nicely. It’s quite a lot of fun when one of their little heads pop off after a good kicking and a spurt of blood shoots out, accompanied by a rather convincing sampled sound. Great soundtrack too We give it 9/10.

Playstation Heroes

“Asian Shitkicker PSX” is an awesome new fighter where two people of asian appearances, fight to the death in a no holds barred game which is sure to set your joypad on fire, the CD loading is smooth and the character sprites handle very nicely. It’s quite a lot of fun when one of their little heads pop off after a good kicking and a spurt of blood shoots out, accompanied by a rather convincing sampled sound. Great orchestral soundtrack too We give it 9/10.

X BoXXer Mag

“Asian Shitkicker 2012” Two people of asian appearances, fight to the death in a no holds barred game which is sure to set your joypad on fire, the loading is fast even on ADSL  and the characters react to your slightest touch. It’s quite a lot of fun when one of their very realistic heads pop off after a good kicking and a spurt of blood shoots out, accompanied by a sound which will turn you green. It was a bit more gory than it is now due to government restrictions, but a mod should be out shortly, Backed up by a great orchestral soundtrack for those who don’t want to hear other players bitching. We give it 9/10.

Holodeck Wonder Mag

“Shitkicker 2045” Two Asian people beat the living shit out of you when you walk out of that pub and take the wrong turn into their turf, so realistic that you’ll need to be hospitalised after playing… If you play badly that is. No Bullshit, Just a gang of thugs and you in a laneway reeking of rotting fish and dog shit. We give it 9/10.

Wolfie!





I’m Blue.

11 06 2010

I finally decided to try Blue Mars, after some coaxing by a couple of friends, but alas my experience was not a good one.

After logging into Blue Mars, looking something like a drugged zombie, I stood there and couldn’t move my camera,
obviously I had a bit to learn and was quite happy to spend some time with it, Secondlife took a while to master too.

I couldn’t move my camera, but was told that it was controlled by the right mouse button and scroll wheel by some helpful
volunteers on the island. It’s always good to find real people who will help, so this at least was a plus and I thank them for
trying.

Walking is controlled in a very awkward manner where a small blue marker
is dropped on the ground, the avatar walks towards it and stops.

Now I have a reasonable computer and a fair internet speed, but if this
was SL, I would have called for an island restart, it felt like walking
through a pool of maple syrup.

Another problem was a big sign which was stuck on my screen like a HUD,
it blocked about half of my view, and although I was advised to upgrade
to flash 10, and did so, the sign remained and could not be removed.

After about the third relog in less than 20 minutes, the problem remained.

And in the time it took me to walk just a few meters… the marker on the ground does
not always set… I could have checked ABC Island and Eragon in SL, flying and walking freely around them.

The regulars suggested that I buy a better computer and get faster internet speed, my computer isn’t that old and tired,
I can happily edit HD video on it, and Secondlife works like a charm, my internet speed isn’t too shabby either.

I wasn’t about to go out and spend big bucks just so I could use this rather awkward looking virtual space, Secondlife may have it’s problems, but Bluemars was just asking far too much of a person, I shut it down, most likely for good.

Wolfie!