A word about placement.

16 11 2013

We have a lovely cafe, deli nearby, which sells a lot of fresh produce, and I normally go there to pick up a nice big sandwich, or some chicken or maybe a pie, which I’ll often take home and freeze to eat later that week.

but they have some items which I’d never buy, fresh liquorice, which looks delicious, an assortment of sweet rolls, and a rack of fresh bread.

I’d love to buy it but won’t, because it’s on the counter, where people will cough and sneeze over, little kids who just had their finger up their noses, will prod, and as for the bread on the rack behind the counter, it’s just at the right height to be farted on.

Now this isn’t some sort of an attack on one shop, as I love the place, indeed I’m a regular customer, I have been for years. No, This is something which is common to a lot of similar shops.

And the problem that I have as a customer is that I’d really like to tell them how I feel, but don’t wish to offend.

I am uncomfortable with saying “I’d really like to buy this stuff, but…”

So I’ve written it here, because it’s incredibly common to a lot of places, I dare say it’s worldwide.

It can’t just be me who has thought about this, surely?

Sweet like chocolate

3 09 2012

I’m slightly bothered by something, not because it’s bad, but because it’s weird.

And I’m writing this because although it’s likely that it’s happened to others, it’s rather unlikely that anyone else has opened up about it before.

A warning to those of a delicate disposition, this post may “squick you out”, to the rest of you, I’m doing this for science.

You would mostly be aware (via posts here) that I had bowel cancer, had the tumor removed, and had follow-up treatments.

You are also quite likely to be aware that I had an ileostomy, a bag, sort of like a colostomy, which was temporary (I had it for five years), which was finally removed a couple of years ago.

Well here’s the awkward truth.

My farts and indeed my poo, often, not always, but often, smells like a mix of coffee, chocolate and biscuits.

That’s right, poo is supposed to smell bad, it’s supposed to smell… like poo.

But mine smells…. nice.

Sweet, and fragrant.

It’s wrong, what’s happening?

It’s not all the time, sometimes things do smell terrible, but often I leave the lavatory leaving the room smelling something like coffee and chocolate.

I had wondered, had I simply become used to how utterly awful the ileostomy output was? believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve smelt the contents of those things. “putrid” is the right word.

Poo would come in at about six points on the stench-o-meter, but ileostomy waste is a good ten.

But then I had it for five years, so perhaps I simply got used to it.

I have noticed this sweet smell quite a lot recently, I wonder what it is?

Also, I do not live on coffee and chocolate, I have two cups a day at most.


Wolfies Bikkies

14 07 2012

I have been making these biscuits which are from the recipe on the side of the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, They used to have another name, but it was changed to Rocky Crunch Cakes… It doesn’t appear to be on the boxes anymore so I was very careful about keeping the last recipe, and not throwing it out as usual.

You may call theses Wolfies Bikkies as I have tinkered with the recipe a bit, and they’re delicious.

I find these are very good for breakfast, even one is quite filling.

Also, I find I can’t come at anything milky in the mornings, so cereal is out… but this is a way to have cereal without the milk, I usually have it with my coffee (which has just a little bit of milk in it).

So the Ingredients are:

110 grams of butter – For those without scales, it’s roughly half a cup.

1/2 a cup of sugar

1 3/4 of a cup of plain flour, sifted – I just use a large strainer.

A cup of goodies (Not Graham, Bill and Tim)

1 1/2 cups of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes

2 teaspoons of baking powder (Not Bi-Carb) – I say this out of frightful experience, yuck!

1/2 a cup of milk

Microwave the butter in a cup on a very low setting for a minute or two, just to soften it up, you’ll need to stir it into the mixture, so the softer it is, the better.

Now, The goodies can be anything you like, fruit, nuts, choc bits, anything that comes up to just under a cup, and I have found the best things to get are the fruit snack boxes which are for putting in a kids lunchbox, they’re normally sold in six or eight… I get “Sultanas and Apricots” and “Sutanas and Apples” and use two of the first and one of the latter… then I throw in a handful of choc bits… you could use pine nuts or something else, but try to stick with the healthy stuff.

Mix all the ingredients EXCEPT the cornflakes together till it looks really well mixed together. The reason I suggest leaving the cornflakes out is because as you mix them, they break, until all you have are cornflake crumbs.

Once the mixture looks well combined, then add half a cup of flakes and gently fold them into the mixture (which is going to be pretty firm, but that’s ok), then add another half, fold those in, and then the final half.

Then cover a baking tray in baking paper, and get a real tablespoon, we have a very old one and I think a friend of mine, who does cook, was amazed to see an actual tablespoon, they are kind of unusual these days, and spoon the mixture onto the paper… you may need to work it off the spoon with a teaspoon.

If you do it right, you should have from about six to eight lumps of goo on your baking tray.

Now the thing is with bikkies (Aussie slang for Biscuits) is that they can burn easily, so you put them on a fairly low-ish heat, 150c is about enough (300F). What you want to get in your mind is that you’re not cooking/baking these, you’re drying them out, this idea stopped me from burning mine.

Then set the timer for about 30 minutes, though it may take a little longer, that’s ok, nice and slow.

If they look *slightly* golden on the top, they’re done, don’t push it… the underside can burn and the top can look as though it isn’t ready… nice… and… slow.

The best way to know if they’re done is to hang around the kitchen, if you suddenly smell something nice, they’re done.

(I use the nose when making pies too, it works).

Get them out of the oven and allow them to sit, they will come out of the oven hot and soft, but they harden as they cool, remember that!

Once they are cool (If they’re still there), wrap them in something air tight or pop them in the bikkie jar.

I hope you like them.


Whatever happened to Gloria Jean?

13 06 2012

A post by @HappySinger

Gloria Jeans and Hillsong suffer bizarre coincidental website glitch

Hillsong Conference is a massive fundie meeting run annually by the controversial Hillsong cult. This year, it’s at the Allphones Arena and it costs a mere $279 to attend. A church service at such a bargain basement price clearly needs very generous sponsors to help it scrape by.

Here is what Hillsong’s generous list of sponsors looked like four days ago:

And here’s what it looks like now:

Seems like some kind of glitch has scrubbed all mention of Gloria Jean’s coffee from poor Hillsong’s website! Good job I was able to preserve it. After all, Gloria Jeans’s generous contribution to the rabidly anti-gay group might have gone unnoticed!

I’m sure it’s a pure coincidence that this dreadful glitch happened the day after Gloria Jeans was embarrassingly revealed to be funding another notorious gay-hate group.

Odd, that.

Written by @HappySinger

Original source: 

Meeting an Enigma

28 02 2011

Today I met @I_Enigma from twitter in “Real Life” (Hate that term).

We met at a cafe in Seddon, called Le Chein (The Dog), which was appropriate because I had Katie with me.

It was just a little bit wet and although we had cover, I was copping a little bit of fine rain, but it wasn’t enough to put me off.

Now I won’t use her real name because I don’t have approval to do that, so Ms Enigma and I sat and chatted about country life, (She comes from Marysville) and
food and just general stuff, and of course Katie, Who approved of Ms Enigma quite a lot.

To be honest, I didn’t feel hungry, and decided to just have a coffee and not have food with it, I’m a night owl, and I’d only had breakfast a mere two hours earlier.

Ms Enigma decided to have a poached chicken salad, which did look great… So after seeing hers, I ordered one too.

Katie naturally had a few bits of chicken.

After we’d had lunch we walked to the corner and started a chat with the woman who runs Diamond Dog, a secondhand shop which the Hipsters seem to love, and we chatted about dogs and their habits, and Katie, of course.

She had an old powder blue typewiter inside, the “portable” type, so if anyone is looking for a typewriter, there is one there, just looking for someone to love it.

Then I bought a Marysville Cookbook, which were put together to raise money to restore Marysville after those terrible fires we had in Victoria, I had been considering getting one for a while, but this gave me more of a reason, it’s not everyday that you get to meet the author.

And though there was drizzle, we decided to walk to the local nursery, and while Ms Enigma liked the idea of plants and herbs, she told me that she couldn’t have them because of all the rabbits around her area, My sympathies, I have the same problem with snails, they won’t touch my feral lawn, but they love any special plant which tries and often fails to grow… baby sunflowers get gnawed to the soil at any sign of rain, I’ve given up.

Anyway, it was a nice change, I enjoyed my day, and so did Katie, Who is flat out asleep now.

Ms Enigma is another user of the internet who I’ve met and liked spending some of my time with, I can honestly say that I haven’t met anyone online who didn’t turn out to be nice in “Real Life”.

Maybe I’m just a good judge of character?


If you’d like more info on the Marysville Cookbook, you can read about it here.

ps- Why do I hate the term “Real Life”? Because the internet is “Real Life” too, it’s not a fantasy land, it’s just an overblown version of the phone system. and I can prove it’s real life too… E-mail your boss and tell him/her where they can jam it, then turn up for work and see how far you get.