Mum, You make me go to School and despite the bullies who threaten me daily, I go, because legally I have to, and because you make me.
So I suffer through it from Monday to Friday
But the weekend is mine, Mother.
If you want to me to go somewhere to learn to be a Naturalist, an Astronomer or to learn to play an instrument, that might be ok.
But you are not wasting my Sundays, by sending me off somewhere to learn bullshit, because that’s all it is, Mother… Bullshit.
And if that offends you so much that you’re going to threaten me with that old chestnut “I’ll pack your bags and throw you out” line, then come on Mother, I’ll help you pack those bags right now.
I’m sure people will read this and think My Mum was one of those horrible religious types, she really wasn’t, but she did have a religious upbringing (she was brain washed). My older Sister went to Sunday school, and I think Mum just wanted to keep up tradition somehow.
She had no gripes with anything David Attenborough said about evolution and had given it a little thought.
When she was mad at me she would sometimes let fly with “You’re a heathen like your bloody father” Poor Dad, he really did have more sense in this regard, but again, Mum had her doubts.
She would sometimes threaten to pack my bags and send me away, but she wouldn’t have.
I once lost my train ticket in the city and the phones had been vandalised at the station, I had to walk all the way back to school before I could even phone her… this was the 80’s. I found her in tears, thinking something had happened to me.
So where did this come from?
It’s fictional, I was letting off some steam in the kitchen just before, thinking about what I should have said back then, only I couldn’t have… I wasn’t as articulate as I am now, and I generally felt powerless.
If I could have faced her with this, she would have backed down, and we probably would have used those spare days to go to the country, or to have lunch in the hills, or to visit relatives.
Much more productive really, than going to church, Heck, staying at home watching cartoons on tv is more productive than going to church, you can learn valuable stuff, like Never buy Acme products and The spooky swamp creature is probably some twit wearing a mask.
No, Mum wasn’t the baddie, but I wish we’d had this conversation back then.