12 06 2013

Whenever a person who has had cancer in the past, gets sick again, they wonder if it has returned.

There have been several instances I know of where the rotten thing has come back to haunt someone.

I remember waiting for my radiation treatment, dressed in a white gown, with an older man who had been through this twice, prostate cancer for him, bowel for me.

He seemed happy enough to deal with it, because that’s what you do, just deal with it, you go into the room and have your rear end microwaved for a few seconds, then go home, and it’s only then that you feel any effects.

I often wonder about the people in the chemo ward, or the radiotherapy clinic and I very much hope they survived.

They told me in 2005 that if the cancer didn’t return in about ten years, that they’d call it a cure, well here I am in 2013 and so far nothing of note has happened.

Different cancers stole my family away, but somehow I survived, but when I’m sick, like now, I wonder, is it just some sort of flu or is it back?

I’ll see the doc tomorrow.

Good Wolves Do!

5 01 2013

This post is part medical and part sexual, I’ve decided to write it because it may not have been documented before and I’m sure that there are people who have wondered, I hope this post helps them.

I’m going to be, as always, very direct and honest, if there’s something here that you feel you cannot face then please tune out now.

As you may be aware, I’m a cancer survivor. I had cancer in the low area of my rectum, which in short had been removed, and I had Chemo and Radiation after that… If you want to read more about my cancer, I have covered it numerous times here, so just go back and you’ll find full stories on it and references to it in other stories.

To be specific, the operation I had was an “ultra-low anterior resection” I have been told by my surgeon and doctor that most of the bowel remains intact, about 12cm was removed.

After the operation and following treatments, I became very concerned with the way my body functioned, I wasn’t sure if I was physically normal or not, my bottom worried me.

I had never thought of my bum as sexual, actually I never thought anyones bottom was. If I’m looking at porn, and there’s a shot of a bottom I’ll rarely be that excited about it.

I was kind of afraid of my bottom after the surgery, in much the same way as you may not want to sit in a chair after hearing that  someones Aunt died in it.

I felt I had to get over it, it was my body, and I couldn’t keep feeling like bits of it were wrong, so I thought I’d do something about it, would using a dildo help me?

I did some reading online and found out about prostate massagers, one of those may do the trick.

I ordered the Aneros prostate massager which turned out to be a rather hard piece of plastic which didn’t vibrate, as I assumed it would.

Well I tried to get it in, a fair few times, but failed, I could only get it to go in part of the way.

A friend of mine who was experienced in these matters asked me if he could have a look at it, when he saw how solid it was he winced, and I knew that I should try something else.

Years ago a friend bought me a Fleshlight, which I liked (they’re very good, except the cleanup later, sucks… so I’d much rather use the hand)… Anyway, I was on their website and saw another type of prostate massager called the “Naughty-Boy”, it was soft, pliable and did vibrate.

I should add here that I’ve had things which vibrate before and found they didn’t do a lot for me, and wondered if vibrating things may be more a Womans fancy than a Mans.

There was a video of someone demonstrating the vibrator (not using it) and it looked like what I might be after.

So I found a local distributor in Australia and ordered it.

Now some of you may be thinking that only gay guys stick things up their bottoms, that probably isn’t the case anymore, much like how a lot of Men refused to wear aftershave in the 70s, because they thought that was gay. I identify as Omnisexual. (I don’t like the sound of “Pansexual” it sounds like I’m rooting a boy who can really fly). Look, if you’re straight and find a vibrator up the clacker helps you get off, do it!

So it came today… but I didn’t, well, not with that anyway.

I think it went in a lot further than the Aneros, but I couldn’t get past “The knot”, it has a bulge down near the end of it.

I put the vibrator on though and there were moments where things felt rather damn nice.

I don’t know if I couldn’t get it in because of my modified anatomy, or because I was too timid… would pushing it all the way in cause me any sort of damage, that was the concern going through my mind.

I feel that if I could manage it, that I’d feel that much more at ease with my body.

Maybe it’s silly, I don’t know, but there’s some psychology here which I want to clear out, so I wanted to try.


Warning: These links contain sexual imagery.

Aneros, Fleshlight, Naughty-Boy

Pet Hate

12 12 2012

I’ve always had a great love of the media, indeed I was a radio announcer for a while. When used well, the media, can be a powerful force for good.

But alas, these days, I’ve seen it used in the worst of ways.

I suppose there are a lot of reasons to hate old medias ways of reporting news, but here’s one of mine which really rubs me the wrong way, and it’s one of the things which you’ll hear often.

There’s some sort of terrible disease which we all know about, we may know someone who has it, or we might have it ourselves.

For the last twenty years or so, scientists all around the world have been looking at cells, watching what they do, treating them with particular chemicals, staying up late, giving up their time and energy in the hope that one day there may be a cure.

Then there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, after years of exhaustive research, maybe, just maybe there’s a cure within reach.

The media is informed, and how is the story reported?


I absolutely hate this.

What this says is, let’s forget the students who spent years learning how to become doctors, surgeons, researchers, physicists, biologists etc, let’s forget that after they became any of those things, that they spent all those days and nights doing very difficult, and often tedious work… let’s just forget all that, and claim that God did it.

Let’s just suggest to the public that this potential cure just popped out of the sky, like “manna from heaven” because someone prayed a lot, and jesus waved his magic pinky, and that was that.

Have you ever watched credits at the end of a movie?

Imagine if in some strange land, they wiped all those names and all you’d see at the end of a film was “God did it”.

For all you know, thousands of people whose names you’ll never know, were involved in getting this possible cure to the point it’s at, and thousands more will improve and refine it for years to come.

That’s long hard hours of blood, sweat and tears.

Media needs to stop attributing hard work and dedication of so many truely wonderful people, to religion, it’s not in the least bit right, or fair.


All about the Cock.

11 10 2012

The word “Penis” is a bit crap, it sounds stupid, and I think most of us males tend to avoid the term.

“Cock” is a far better word, and according to the dictionary, probably quite acceptable, although not, as yet, an official description… it’s still considered slang, and vulgar slang at that, I don’t think it should be… but I’ll get to that later.

The dictionary says that a cock is a small spout for water, and when you think of it, that’s a very good description of it.

“Cock” is also a word used to describe a male, generally a bird, although it has been used to describe a Stallion, and here is a fine example of that:

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
She shall have music wherever she goes

Now, about the slang.

You may know that it wasn’t all that long ago that people refrained from saying “Fart” as it tended to be a vulgar term, but over the last thirty years or so, it has become a standard term for stomach gas, or the act of expelling it. I have heard doctors talk about farting, generally not their own farting, usually someone elses.

But it’s a good word, don’t you agree?

The word *sounds* right, for what it represents, ones anus can almost pronounce the word on it’s own at times.

So these days it’s more acceptable to say “When I fart”, rather than “When I produce wind”.

I think “Cock” should definitely go the same way.

Words do have a habit of being born as slang, or as vulgar, then turning into a “normal” word over the years, and words ca also go the other way.

Using “Tart” to describe a Woman, was once a lovely term, suggesting that a Woman was sweet, like a tart (jam tart or small cake)… But has since taken on quite an unpleasant meaning.

I think that words, used more frequently lose “power” over the years, and those hidden away in closets tend to become worse. Harry Potter fans would be familiar with “He who shall not be named” which is what people called Voldemort, and this habit caused people to fear Voldemort even more… While of course Harry simply called Voldemort by his name.

Cancer was similar to that, People many years ago feared it and wouldn’t discuss it with others, it was as though the person with cancer had done something shameful. Of course having cancer is bad enough, without asocial stigma on top of it. Thankfully people talk about cancer these days, which helps everyone deal with it.

I also feel the “N-Word” needs to be said, in order to remove its power, but you note that I didn’t write it, because some of you would be offended… but note this, you still heard it in your mind, didn’t you?

What is the point of writing F***? You heard that in your mind too, right? (although I really thought “Fish” when I typed it).

There’s a word whose vulgarity will probably fail soon too, in fact it’s used so much these days, it makes me wonder why people are still upset about it.

Oh yes, we have to consider context too, naturally.

But getting back to my argument, I think we should embrace “Cock” as a perfectly normal, correct word.

* The bit about the Fish was a dreadful lie, Sorry.

And a link to that poem about the lady going to Banbury, because it’s interesting.

Sweet like chocolate

3 09 2012

I’m slightly bothered by something, not because it’s bad, but because it’s weird.

And I’m writing this because although it’s likely that it’s happened to others, it’s rather unlikely that anyone else has opened up about it before.

A warning to those of a delicate disposition, this post may “squick you out”, to the rest of you, I’m doing this for science.

You would mostly be aware (via posts here) that I had bowel cancer, had the tumor removed, and had follow-up treatments.

You are also quite likely to be aware that I had an ileostomy, a bag, sort of like a colostomy, which was temporary (I had it for five years), which was finally removed a couple of years ago.

Well here’s the awkward truth.

My farts and indeed my poo, often, not always, but often, smells like a mix of coffee, chocolate and biscuits.

That’s right, poo is supposed to smell bad, it’s supposed to smell… like poo.

But mine smells…. nice.

Sweet, and fragrant.

It’s wrong, what’s happening?

It’s not all the time, sometimes things do smell terrible, but often I leave the lavatory leaving the room smelling something like coffee and chocolate.

I had wondered, had I simply become used to how utterly awful the ileostomy output was? believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve smelt the contents of those things. “putrid” is the right word.

Poo would come in at about six points on the stench-o-meter, but ileostomy waste is a good ten.

But then I had it for five years, so perhaps I simply got used to it.

I have noticed this sweet smell quite a lot recently, I wonder what it is?

Also, I do not live on coffee and chocolate, I have two cups a day at most.



7 08 2012

Consider this,

Science has the capability to do many wonderful things, and if left to it’s own devices, it would bring us closer to cures for parkinsons disease, cancer, diabetes, deafness and blindness.

But then some idiot pops up and yells “Gods rules” and the whole thing is held back 50-100 years or more while friends and family watch loved ones suffer

The scientists then spend years battling with these arseholes, for that’s what they are, to try to get them to listen to actual facts, rather than three thousand year old fables, written by mad hermits in caves.

And because YOU sit there and think religion should be tolerated, because it’s “harmless” YOU allow these fuckwits to brainwash more and more children into believing bullshit.

Do we want people who can think for themselves, or do we want mindless twats who can only repeat what some kidfucker said in church?

This is the dark ages folks, to future generations who escaped the nonsense of religion, this will be considered the dark ages.

Stop saying that religion is not hurting anyone.
Today was the day we saw Curiosity land on Mars, via a performance which would have stunned any athlete, If we had listened to all the Priests, Bishops, and Popes… all the professional liars, we’d still be in basic homes with dirt floors, no electricity, no computers or phones.
Thanks to Religion, We could be 500 years behind where we ought to be.

Hate Science?

25 02 2012

Hate science, and deny everything scientific?

Ok, Do this for me.

Switch off the computer you’re using, if you hate science, you shouldn’t be using a machine made by scientists, Then go into your lounge-room and get rid of your television, your DVD player, and your game consoles… all of which were developed from scientific ideas.

Don’t forget your mobile phone, mp3 player, radio and even the phone wired to your wall… you won’t want any of these.

Then go to your cupboard and throw away all your canned food, yes, your beer too, your instant coffee and whatever else you may find in there.

Then throw out your microwave and your fridge, both function on disgusting scientific principles, so you won’t be wanting those.

Then disconnect yourself from the power grid because, oh yes, more of that awful science.

Then leave your house because, oh no… the wood and the paint and oh dear, geeze that science stuff is everywhere isn’t it?

Get into your car… oh wait… sorry… um, put your shoes…. oh wait… remove all your clothing and walk to a cave and just try to survive there… I’m afraid you won’t be seeing a doctor anymore either, as medicine is completely science based.

No, you can’t take matches for a fire, sorry.

Now tell me…

Would you tell your doctor he’s lying after finding a tumour in your body with a CT scanner?

Would you expect  milk to go off after a day in your fridge because refrigeration is clearly a lie?

You know full well that all of the above works, so how can you deny science and embrace religion…

and somehow manage to feel that climate change is a lie?