17 04 2017

My Mother told me never to mention it to others, I’m not sure why, I think she felt some sense of shame, though it wasn’t her fault. Many Women have experienced the same.

Somewhere between My Sister and I, My Mother gave birth, way too early.

She had felt something go wrong days before, but She was not a person to seek medical help. I don’t know why, perhaps she was afraid of Doctors, or perhaps she saw going as a sign of weakness, but that’s pure speculation.

I know very little except he came out on the bed quite suddenly.

Dad said that he was black, though that could have been because the child had died days earlier perhaps, and black hair.

I was born bald.

I have wondered over the years how my life would have been different with an older brother, I wonder what he would have been like.

Would he have been more like Dad, keen on going fishing, or more like me, loving his music and his dog?

Would we have got on well, or would he have been a thorn in my side?

Would he have been the one still around now that the rest have gone?

I suppose he would have been in his 60’s now.

Mum, I know you never wanted me to mention it, but at the same time, does he deserve to be forgotten?

It wasn’t your fault.