In Glorious Mediocracy

19 02 2016

Have you ever walked into a second-hand shop which is filled with Kitsch? Ceramic kittens, people made of shells, prints of sunsets over the ocean… You know the kind of thing.

It’s all perfectly saccharine sweet, and “nice”.

That’s Facebook.

Oh look, I follow a bunch of you who are raging against the dying of the light. Among all the mindless puzzles that a five year old could solve in seconds, the usual rounds of “Which is your elf name” and barely funny mock horoscopes, you people at least try to break the mould.

You post issues of the day, you post about politics, fairness, activism, now and then you post something a little raunchy of off putting, a bit daring, something that activates the brain cells, and I love you for it.

But being daring comes at a price when you’re on Facebook.

Post something that offends someone, even slightly, and you’re suspended, or worse, your page is removed entirely.

This has happened to me about five times before, Twice it was about my name, which is the name I use in public life. And according to what I’ve read, if you start using another name in public, that, by law, after a while, becomes your real name. In Australia anyway.

A couple of other times something had been flagged as offensive, and I was suspended for a day, but then they found that it was nothing and sent me an e-mail to tell me that the suspension had been lifted.

A friend of mine likes her erotic art, it’s not x-rated, it’s just slightly more than suggestive, perhaps it’s a chubby woman reclining on a bed, with boobs akimbo.

I’m a bloke, and have never understood why parts of the body offend people, beautiful, healthy, genitals or nipples. I’ve had cancer, I’ve seen what bodies are like when they’re not healthy, if normal bits and pieces offend you, then I hope you don’t have to face cancer as everything is one hundred times worse then.

Let me give you an image: Three in the morning, your bag is leaking, and while trying to change it your stoma erupts and sprays wet faeces all over the vanity unit, I hope it never happens to you.

Anyway, This friend of mine has been suspended for her tubby ladies, which let’s face it, cover the walls of our finest art galleries.

Another friend told me that she was once suspended because she had posted a full frontal nude photo, of a man… sure, the man was carved from stone, but he still had naughty naughty male genitalia, the tiny kind that statues have, probably because they’re so cold, I don’t know.

And recently an Art Gallery was blocked because they had posted a photo of one of their paintings, which was a Woman licking an ice-cream. I’ll let your imagination decide why they received a suspension.

And there’s another thing that doesn’t worry me, sex.

If sex is the sort where nobody is being hurt, then I have no problem with it.

“But what about the kiddies, what if my kiddies see it”

How about taking your fucking kids, and fucking fuck off? That’s what’s going on in my mind, but give me time to take a few breaths and I’ll calm down.

Kids aren’t allowed to see genitals, but guns are just fine, isn’t that a crying shame? Everyone has genitals, not everyone has, or wants, a gun.

I’d rather my kids saw an ejaculating penis in all its glory, than some arsehole shooting a lion any day.

And there’s a thing, Why do we get smacked down for single posts, when there are entire pages on Facebook dedicated to shooting wildlife, to racists, misogynists, bigots and collections of religious arseholery which people have flagged hundreds of times because they are doing real damage, yet often, they are allowed to remain?

You know, I was a Moderator once, I kept things neat and clean, I was strict and was happy with my work.

I found that I spent too much time worrying about it, when I should have spent more time hugging my dog.

So I began to relax and it was better for everyone, me included.

I’m going out to hug my dog.

Wolfie Rankin.










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