Cunt in a Clown Suit

17 01 2016

Before you froth at the mouth over the title, I’d been reading a story about David Bowie where he told Film Director Michael Dignum about the day they filmed Ashes to Ashes.

Apparently an old bloke and his dog walked in front of the camera while filming the last scene of the video. David, dressed as a Pierrot thought the two might be in shot for a while, so sat down near the camera.

The Director stopped filming and approached the Man, “Do you know who that is?” asked the Director, pointing back at Bowie?

The Man looked him up and down and said “Some cunt in a clown suit”.

David took it on the chin, up till that moment he’d been starstruck by his own persona.

Last week, I was woken by the Postie, who had a package for me, The Blackstar Album had turned up, something I thought would be nice to add to my collection, it was the black one, I had two clear ones on pre-order which had not yet arrived.

Yeah two, I dunno why, I do stuff like this occasionally, I still haven’t got them yet, but apparently one is on its way.

I wasn’t feeling all that great that day, I had something to eat and got back into bed, and slept for a few more hours.

Later I woke, and started up the PC and watched my Twitter feed.

“David Bowie has died” said one tweet, or something like that anyway.

I didn’t RT it because I’ve seen death hoaxes before, we all have, and a few of the journos I follow noted that there had been no update of Bowie’s Facebook or home page, none of us believed it… by now there were more tweets saying the same thing.

Bowie’s Facebook and Twitter were saying that he had died, and still none of us believed it, could it possibly be a hoax and a hack?

As the day wore on, news sites picked up the story, but then news sites have been sucked in by hoaxes too, nobody wanted to touch it, but we began to feel our hearts drop as it looked more likely.

Bowie’s Son tweeted that the story was true, and I think that did it for most of us.

BBC were reporting it, but CNN was still doubtful and said as much.

Our local FM Station, Gold, started talking about it too.

I began to wonder if I was still asleep and simply hadn’t woken up.

I think we were all shocked.

Someone said it was cancer, I still wasn’t quite believing it, skeptic that I am.

How do you keep cancer quiet? I’ve had cancer myself, I had three doctors, multiple nurses, a surgeon, various hospital staff knocking around… It wasn’t adding up.

Yet it was true, A legend had died.

A tweet pointed to a video of Elvis singing a song called Blackstar, The lyrics confirmed that the album was Bowie’s way of saying goodbye.

How on Earth did he manage to do that?

When I had chemo, I could barely stand up, threw up a lot, just wanted to stay in bed… and yet he thinks “I’m dying, how can I use that in my art?” and then produces an album.

Ballsey or what?

I spent the day, with a mixture of feelings, a great loss, a hole in my heart, grief, sorrow, confusion and anger.

I was mildly angry at him for dying of cancer, if I could get over it, why couldn’t he? He’d given us more than I ever could, surely he was of more value than I?

You only have to read the old posts to know I’ve faced my own battles with cancer, I hate it so much.

Why the fuck was Murdoch still alive?

Yes, David Bowie gave us his music, but he changed things, He helped make it easier for us oddballs, and for that we’ll be forever grateful.

I address anyone under forty, you might think things are bad now, and in some places there hasn’t been much change, but I do remember the 70’s.

A lot of Men at the time seemed to have a fragile sexuality. At the time aftershave was just starting to hit the local market, and a lot of men wouldn’t use it, a lot wouldn’t even use deodorant for fear that someone would call them a Poofta (Gay).

Yet here’s Bowie, slapping makeup on his face and wearing dresses, not because he wanted to be a Woman, but because it was *just* powder, *only* material, and why not wear it if you like it?

Naturally if you liked Bowie, you’d be called a poof by some too, there must’ve been a lot of poofs back then because David began to have quite a following.

I remember a story about Bowie trying to get his band to wear makeup too, and they refused, so he pushed the issue. The next night, like a scene from Spinal Tap, Bowie found them fighting over the mascara, apparently because they’d attracted more Women than they thought possible.

Bowie didn’t have weird ideas, and choke them down again, because they might be socially unacceptable. He gave nurtured them and used them in his art, that to me is very brave.

And because he did it, many of us felt that we could do it too, doors were opened and we’re thankful.

Today we have people being themselves, Science fiction fans go to massive conventions each year, where before they were just geeks to be ignored.

David loved reading, and Science Fiction in particular, indeed he was a lot like Doctor Who, and we were the companions who found different Men along the way.

David said that he hoped people could find their own characters within themselves, isn’t that what Furries have done?

Our hearts have broken, and we’ll miss you so very much.

Wolfie Rankin

 

 

 

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