Uncomfortably Numb

3 04 2013

A lot of you have experienced a limb falling asleep, because you’ve been laying in an awkward position, and I’ve had it happen to me many times.

Usually it doesn’t last, but I’ve had a few where I thought my arm would never function again and hang at my side like dead meat for the rest of my life… In fact Cold Chisel had a song about this, called “Saturday night palsy”, where people come home drunk and lay in one position for hours, which causes the problem.

Now I don’t drink, so I’ve never experienced that but years ago, I was sprawled at the end of Mums bed, watching telly with her, which is something we often did, when I got up and felt something really weird.

I cringed and said, “Mum… I think my penis has gone to sleep”.

“Has it?” she replied and her whole face contorted as she began to laugh at my expense.

This had never happened to me before, it felt awful, and sort of detached from the rest of me, but this didn’t last long, as the numbness was quickly replaced by tingling.

Now a tingling penis may sound lovely to some, but I can tell you, it’s not… it’s the kind of violent tingling you get when you hit your elbow on the tap in the shower recess, My dick was screaming “Don’t Touch Me!”

Yes I may be exaggerating a bit, it wasn’t that painful, but it wasn’t exactly nice either.

I only remembered this because it happened today and I tried to examine the cause.

I was wearing Bonds athletic underwear, you know the kind where you can slide your hand into the flap, and “cop a feel” if you’re inclined?

Well I think part of it, my penis, was poking out of there and had bent a bit, and thus numbed a nerve.

Now while we’re talking about penile nerves, a friend of mine told me an interesting story, which I couldn’t verify, as we kind of lost touch, which happens sometimes.

My friend was getting older, as we all are, and he had a bucket list of things he wanted to try before he either got too old or karked it.

One was to see a Lady of the night, which he said he’d never done before.

So He did this, and reported back.

He said that while He was with Her, She asked him if He knew about the nerve in his penis, the one that makes a Man ejaculate when it’s pressed on.

He thought she was joking, When you’re in your 40’s or older, you know just about everything about your penis.

Anyway, she proved her point by pressing on this nerve, and he ejaculated, just like that… She apparently did is again when he was soft, and surprised the life out of him by having him come once more.

If anyone knows more about this, let me know.

But anyway, there’s two things you probably haven’t heard of before.

Wolfie!

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