The history of the Werewolf

30 04 2013

I want to tell you about the history of the Werewolf,  I’m going to leave a lot out, but I hope you’ll get the basic idea, I hope it sets things straight.

We have a kind of diary, which was written by our people, spanning hundreds of generations. and in many different languages, some languages are so old that they’re difficult to translate, but we have tried none the less.

A long time ago Humans and Werewolves were friends, We were trusted, and we protected homes from thieves. While Humans assumed we stood silent guard like soldiers, we in fact were just doing what a Werewolf does, and if someone from Town met a Werewolf at night, it wasn’t that much of a concern, as they often knew each other anyway.

But Humans and Werewolves made up blood curdling stories which would pass off as truth and would keep would be thieves away, it generally worked, and there aren’t many instances in the book where someone suspect was apprehended, often they were drunk or had blundered in from elsewhere, and when it did happen, the intruder would generally wet themselves and be shown the way out of whatever town or village it might have been.

We did a reasonable job of keeping stock losses down, by chasing foxes, which was apparently a lot of fun judging by the drawings.

Werewolves also had another use, a healing ability, not just for ourselves, but for others… When you look at someone and then inside them, you see the golden lines, and the sprockets and gears, all the little wheels of life which make everything work. sometimes the sprockets fall out or the wires break, and when you can see them and move them with your mind, a body can be repaired.

We didn’t take life, unless we wanted to eat, and even then we didn’t take more than a Human would want for themselves, We loved life, our own lives and the lives of others.

We were loved, Life was good for both species, and in general, it was a happy time.

People back then often had no education, but the book seems to show that many people were intelligent even if they were often superstitious. They would often leave offerings for deities which didn’t exist, We never touched their offerings, to do so would have “proved” that some external force existed… but of course some of us were superstitious too, we were still people and still had our weaknesses.

So you may wonder, what went wrong? Why did such a beautiful relationship sour?

A different kind of person began turning up in places where we lived, armed with good books about bigger Gods which had made all of the World and all things in it, except for the likes of us, who were made by the forces of darkness, apparently.

For a long time, the people shunned the idea, but slowly began to wonder who was right, and who was wrong, The Children were easier to convert, and it was they who were preyed upon, and slowly people became afraid of us.

The older generations still knew us, and kept in contact, and although they wanted to tell the new generations that there was nothing wrong, they were afraid, because speaking out could mean death.

It was like a disease had caught hold and was killing everything good that we ever had.

And so those who remembered we were kind, came together one night, and met with our elders in one particular village one night, and they suggested we vanish from Human memory, how long would it take? one generation to forget everything? perhaps.

Anything remembering the werewolf which hadn’t been broken already, would be removed, broke or hidden away, and memory of the werewolves would not be passed onto the humans.

And then gradually, we too, pulled up our roots and moved along, not always finding one of our own kind to have children with, We fell in love with Humans, and they in turn with us, and we even forgot, after a while, who we were, and what we could do.

Only a few dedicated souls kept the diary, and kept writing the story which had to be told.

Now and then it passed into Human hands, and risked being lost or destroyed from time to time, such as in the great fire of London, and the Blitz which came later. It traveled all over Europe, to Africa, The Middle East and back again, and all it’s journeys recorded within.

But although we tried to hide, The Werewolf mythology remained, and not of the nice werewolf either, but of the blood crazed killer, which had only been amplified by those who had bought religion into those ancient homes of ours, but yes, it was partly our own fault.

Have you noticed a potential problem dear reader?

We had been inter-breeding with humans for centuries, for centuries, so much so, that now it’s rare to find a human without whatever makes us, us… a gene? no it’s not, we’ve looked.

So occasionally one of us “wakes up” and changes form, and the problem with the werewolf is that he or she becomes what he or she believes themselves to be, and the only books on the subject are about the horrible, murderous beasts of legend, so what do you suppose happens?

We dread news that a Werewolf has killed someone, and those of us who know our real history dedicate ourselves to watching for these poor souls who need protection, not a bullet in the head.

Yes sometimes one Werewolf bites a “Human” and then we have two to cope with, as the “Human” believes they’ve been bitten by a Werewolf, and it wakes them up too, at least if they have a Werewolf in their ancestry.

My friends meet in an old basement near Degraves street in Melbourne, and have created a “pub” there, which is very cosy on a winters night, That’s where the Loup-Garou Underground was founded, an operation to locate our kind before they cause or come to harm.

There so few of us, but we do our best using any mode of communication we can to follow a lead.

Since the Loup-Garou Underground Melbourne HQ was formed in 1976, Five others have been created on other points of the globe, and slowly our people are coming back.

In this age of enlightenment, we hope that one day we can accepted, and even loved by the Human community again.

I hope this brief explanation has helped me to explain who we are.

Love.

Wolfie!

(C) PWTS All Rights Reserved, 2013.

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About Werewolves

28 04 2013

No, No, No, This stops, and it stops right now.

For years, you Humans have acted as though you know everything about us and some of you do, but most of you get your information from movies, and movies aren’t typically the place to go to become educated about things, right?

Werewolves, Us, We, Have been depicted wrongly and we don’t really mind, we enjoy a good movie as much as anyone, but someone really needs to straighten you out, because frankly you’ve been terribly misled.

So if you don’t mind, I’ll talk about Werewolves I know and love, and bits about myself.

Firstly, The way people get to be Werewolves is the same way they get to be English, or Japanese, or Spanish… Yes they become Naturalised! No! They’re born that way… All that stuff about biting, viruses or curses is utter rubbish.

Moonlight, doesn’t do anything but provide a lovely light that helps us see, it doesn’t change us, we do that whenever we like, and we don’t howl AT it, We howl TO each other, which makes more sense right? because the moon certainly doesn’t say hello back. The whole Full Moon thing was concocted for ye olde “The Wolfman” film, it’s nonsense.

The Change, so horribly painful, Cringe, scream and don’t forget to reach for the camera while doing it, good grief! Actually it feels bloody marvelous, We like to call it “The full body erection” because it feels practically the same, it’s even a bit of a problem for teenagers just like normal erections are.

When it first happened to me, I had no control over it, I stayed that way for days. I remained in the house while Mum and Dad tried to fend off awkward questions about where I was.

Movie Werewolves are always ugly, Why? We’re a beautiful species, We’re soft and fluffy and great for cuddling, I often look at myself in the mirror and think about how gorgeo… *coughs*…

Tails, We have them, Mine stops just at the back of my knees. I love my tail but tails and doors don’t mix, particularly on windy days so one has to remember to keep ones tail between ones legs… or lose it.

Nude male Werewolves in movies often don’t have the parts that males should come equipped with, which is downright weird, well it is… imagine going to the toilet and finding you had no penis… I’ve had dreams like that, it’s not pleasant.

Ripped clothing, What? Why? T-shirts cost a packet these days, I’ll strip before I change, thanks.

Epic feuds with Vampires, Well, to be honest, I’ve never met a Vampire or a Zombie, and neither has anyone else I know… but Aliens?, that’s another story.

Creeping around in Graveyards at midnight?, I’ve never understood that, what’s there which is so attractive?, and yes, even though I’m a Werewolf, I’d still find it a bit spooky.

Werewolves do everything people do, We go out, watch movies, listen to music, dance (often badly, in our own homes) We eat muffins…

We don’t eat people, We wouldn’t eat you, people are disgusting, but there are times when it’s nice to let people *think* we do, you know the type, yes, them.

Werewolves should never eat chocolate (but we do it often!)

We don’t generally drink or smoke.

Toilets are a bit of a problem.

Some of us are awful geeks and use Twitter too damn much, quite frankly.

Cats still think we’re there to feed them and are there to be sat on.

Sometimes we get fleas, though I blame the cat.

Is there any more I need to tell you? If so, ask away.

Wolfie!





Old Tweetdeck Vs New

27 04 2013

Old Tweetdeck is far better than New Tweetdeck, Here’s why.





Life on Mars

17 04 2013

I write this blog more as a personal diary that everyone can read, rather than a newspaper which happens to also take comment.

I have left social media for a while… For the longest time it seems like I couldn’t feel anything unless it was a sense of fear, sadness or worry, it’s killing me and unless I take a break now, and sit here alone with Katie and Vicky, then I will be broken.

No matter what I do in this world will make an inch of difference to anyone, I realised this yesterday…

When I was a teen, I kept to myself, I stayed home and watched TV and listened to Music with the company of a loyal dog.

Then I began to find friends online, and began to think I had wasted so much time.

But now I need my space again and have retreated, and I can’t say for how long.

I’m a being of the eighties, stuck here in the whatever they’re called, I feel somewhat like E.T. or Alf in a very foreign place and time, I’m lost and afraid, and I desperately need to go home.

Don’t be concerned, I’m eating and sleeping and watching DVDs I had forgotten I had, and Katie and Vicky are taking excellent care of me.

But I know I’m powerless and unable to make any change worth a damn to anybody, and have given up.

And that, in a nutshell, is that.





The Rock

17 04 2013

I want you, The Atheist, to understand something I thought of which may make you understand what is going on in the religious mind.

It has to do with that line, Peter (Petrus, the Rock) is solid, and I will build my church upon him… or something along those lines.

This is why people who embrace religion, despite using Mobile Phones, Computers, Wi-Fi, Digital Televisions and more, shun Science.

Science bends, it moves, it morphs and changes.

The religious mind cannot handle an alteration of collected facts, it cannot adapt to new evidence.

The Bible presents them with a simplistic rock to stand on, which never changes, even though they clearly do.

Homosexuality is clearly wrong according to the religious mind, but upholding the second amendment when the Bible clearly says “Thou shalt not kill” without any trace of a clause, Show me where it says “But it’s alright, if you’re American”.

These people want things fixed in place, they don’t like change, even though their Grandparents lived lives different from themselves, but they have changed, and they fear even more change, despite the fact that change will indeed happen in their lives whether they like it, or not.

The irony is that this rock they cling to, is built upon fantasy, making their ground as shaky as ours.





Bandwidth explained

14 04 2013

I sometimes write for people who may be raw beginners on the internet, and this will be one of those posts.

There’s a word going around at the moment which you may have heard, especially in discussions about the NBN here in Australia.

It’s Bandwidth.

I’m going to explain to you exactly what bandwidth is.

Imagine that data, is water, and your computer is an empty bath.

Now, imagine there are three sets of taps over your bath.

One tap is really small, it’s only about as wide as a drinking straw.

The second tap is the normal sort of tap that anyone would have over their bath.

The third is huge, it looks more like a fire hydrant than a tap.

Now out of those three, which do you suppose would fill your bath the fastest?

The big tap!

And yes, there would probably be some splashing involved if it was turned on full.

Because the big tap is really big, a lot of water can go through it all at once.

That’s really all it is.

The tiny tap represents Dial up internet, Very slow, It will take hours to fill your bath.

The normal sized tap represents Broadband over copper wires, Fast-ish, but nothing amazing.

While The Big Tap represents Broadband over optical fiber, BIG SPASH, All Done!

Easy?





If I was a wealthy wolf.

14 04 2013

Dad and I used to take Benny, our first Alaskan Malamute out for a walk in the evening, and one of the things we’d often talk about was what if we won the lottery, it seemed as though winning a few million in the lottery was the only way to make at least some of our dreams come true.

It was a house we wanted, on lots of land, in the country… there was going to be a spa pool or hot tub in there somewhere and ahh yes… There was going to be a Bull.

No, We weren’t going to breed from him, or eat him… he would be our pet.

Yes, I’m sure some of you who have experienced life in the country will write and say things like “You know that bulls like to turn fences into necklaces” yes, I’ve heard the stories.

Mum, Dad and I have lived close to Melbourne all our lives, They had some experience with Horses, Mums Dad had Clydesdales when she was a young girl, before WWII, He had a furniture removal business.

We just wanted a Bull because they can be really good looking in a paddock.

The dream never came true and went mouldy, my parents died and I’m still here with Katie and Vicky.

I remain in the house I grew up in.

I have no ambitions any more, and I wait.

Wolfie!