This post is part medical and part sexual, I’ve decided to write it because it may not have been documented before and I’m sure that there are people who have wondered, I hope this post helps them.
I’m going to be, as always, very direct and honest, if there’s something here that you feel you cannot face then please tune out now.
As you may be aware, I’m a cancer survivor. I had cancer in the low area of my rectum, which in short had been removed, and I had Chemo and Radiation after that… If you want to read more about my cancer, I have covered it numerous times here, so just go back and you’ll find full stories on it and references to it in other stories.
To be specific, the operation I had was an “ultra-low anterior resection” I have been told by my surgeon and doctor that most of the bowel remains intact, about 12cm was removed.
After the operation and following treatments, I became very concerned with the way my body functioned, I wasn’t sure if I was physically normal or not, my bottom worried me.
I had never thought of my bum as sexual, actually I never thought anyones bottom was. If I’m looking at porn, and there’s a shot of a bottom I’ll rarely be that excited about it.
I was kind of afraid of my bottom after the surgery, in much the same way as you may not want to sit in a chair after hearing that someones Aunt died in it.
I felt I had to get over it, it was my body, and I couldn’t keep feeling like bits of it were wrong, so I thought I’d do something about it, would using a dildo help me?
I did some reading online and found out about prostate massagers, one of those may do the trick.
I ordered the Aneros prostate massager which turned out to be a rather hard piece of plastic which didn’t vibrate, as I assumed it would.
Well I tried to get it in, a fair few times, but failed, I could only get it to go in part of the way.
A friend of mine who was experienced in these matters asked me if he could have a look at it, when he saw how solid it was he winced, and I knew that I should try something else.
Years ago a friend bought me a Fleshlight, which I liked (they’re very good, except the cleanup later, sucks… so I’d much rather use the hand)… Anyway, I was on their website and saw another type of prostate massager called the “Naughty-Boy”, it was soft, pliable and did vibrate.
I should add here that I’ve had things which vibrate before and found they didn’t do a lot for me, and wondered if vibrating things may be more a Womans fancy than a Mans.
There was a video of someone demonstrating the vibrator (not using it) and it looked like what I might be after.
So I found a local distributor in Australia and ordered it.
Now some of you may be thinking that only gay guys stick things up their bottoms, that probably isn’t the case anymore, much like how a lot of Men refused to wear aftershave in the 70s, because they thought that was gay. I identify as Omnisexual. (I don’t like the sound of “Pansexual” it sounds like I’m rooting a boy who can really fly). Look, if you’re straight and find a vibrator up the clacker helps you get off, do it!
So it came today… but I didn’t, well, not with that anyway.
I think it went in a lot further than the Aneros, but I couldn’t get past “The knot”, it has a bulge down near the end of it.
I put the vibrator on though and there were moments where things felt rather damn nice.
I don’t know if I couldn’t get it in because of my modified anatomy, or because I was too timid… would pushing it all the way in cause me any sort of damage, that was the concern going through my mind.
I feel that if I could manage it, that I’d feel that much more at ease with my body.
Maybe it’s silly, I don’t know, but there’s some psychology here which I want to clear out, so I wanted to try.
Warning: These links contain sexual imagery.