One day in Geelong.

30 08 2012

In the 70’s, Mum and Dad owned a holiday house, at 40 Harvey Road, St Leonards.

St. Leonards is a small town not far from Melbourne, and it sits close to the ocean, in fact all we needed to do to get to the beach, was simply walk to the end of the street.

Though we rarely ever went there, because it was generally too cold.
So we’d be inside reading or playing records, or watching television.

“Holiday House” wasn’t really the proper name for it as something always had to be done.

Dad always seemed to be mowing the lawn, or fencing or painting, or digging a big hole for some reason, while Mum did exactly the same sort of things she did at home.

We had a problem too, whenever we had a few days down there, I’d get sick, and nobody knew why until the day Dad was doing something under the house, and discovered a huge lake of water, directly under my bedroom, so he drained it. The water ran out from under our place…but collected under, and around the house next door, the neighbour was not pleased.

It was towards the end of one of these bouts of ill health that Mum and Dad made a fairly poor decision to go to Geelong for the day.

The day was lovely and sunny as far as I can recall, and We stopped in front of Coles Cafeteria, I think we all loved those, but they’re not around anymore, sadly enough.

We went inside and up the stairs, to where all the food was.

The idea was to take a tray and slide it along the counter, taking whatever food you fancied, and paying at the end of the line.

Mum hoped I’d find something I’d actually eat, since I had not eaten much in several days.

And then I saw it, it was some kind of a milk drink, in a very fancy glass, and had a straw poking out at the side… and it was a lurid green, so of course I wanted it.

Now if you’re hoping Mum told me “NO” and made me get something else, I’m sorry… because
She allowed it, Much to her eternal regret.

So we returned to our table and hopped into our goodies, and I drank that lurid green concoction, whatever it was, I’m not sure if I had anything else, not that it matters.

And then I said those words that nobody wanted to hear.

“Mum, I’m going to be sick”

Mum and Dad leapt to attention, as the first eruptions began to rumble, and grabbed my hand and ran down those steps, towards the glass doors as quickly as they could.

I don’t know how Mum did it, She was so “un-co” that she could trip over a pin, but she bolted down those stairs with the finesse of an athlete.

And just as those glass doors were pushed open, lurid green spew went everywhere, which left a massive green splodge over the footpath as though the Ghost busters had run over Slimer with a Steam Roller.

Mum frantically apologised and was completely red faced, But I think she was relieved that we had at least made it outside the building.

I don’t remember much after that, except that versions of this tale had been told by Mum over the years to practically any sympathetic Mum who’d listen.

Oh, and we never went there again.

Wolfie!





A little pudding thing

24 08 2012

I saw this very nice recipe for what was supposed to be a bikkie but sort of turned out like a little pudding instead, but that didn’t matter, it was completely delicious.

Now I’ve tried these three minute cup cake things in the microwave before, and the results have been terrible, so my expectations were very low, but instead I was delighted.

I’m going to Ozzie-fy the recipe here so that it makes sense, although it wasn’t hard, and give you a few extra suggestions.

You need:

Two Tablespoons of Butter (The original said unsalted, but please!)
One and a half Tablespoons of Sugar (US = Granulated)
One and a half Tablespoons of Brown Sugar
Five Tablespoons of Plain Flour (US = All Purpose)
One Beaten Bum Nut (or Egg)
A few drops of Vanilla Essence (Use the real stuff, please!)
A quarter of a teaspoon of baking powder (Not Bicarbonate!)
Pinch of salt (So why did the original ask for unsalted butter? Skip this)
One snack pack of sultanas (I like fruit)
A Dessert spoon of Choc Bits

Sift the flour into a bowl and add everything except the egg

Beat the egg and add it to the dry stuff.

Mix everything together till it’s nice and smooth.

Pour into ramekins.

Bung it in the Microwave for two minutes on high.
(You may have to adjust this for your microwave)

I used a ramekin but found the mixture bubbled up and over in the microwave,
So use two, and share one with a friend or save it for later.

Here’s a converter for Australian/US Food, which was useful

And here’s a link to the original page, with photos.

Wolfie!





Little black boys

19 08 2012

This post is probably going to annoy some of you, but I hope you understand its context… it is pretty racist.

There was a bizarre meme in our family which began with my Grandmother, as far as I can tell.

My Gran had died before my birth in 1965, and I understand that She married her Husband in 1900,
She grew up in a gold mining area near Ballarat, Education was very limited and of course She had God pushed into her from an early age.

My Gran, as far as I can tell, was a good Woman, although apparently fairly strict, but wasn’t always the most logical person.

Before I go further, I have wondered if she had been exposed to the same sort of education as myself, would she have said particular things? I think she would have been a different, and better person.

Anyway, She used to say this thing, which became a meme in our family, and whenever it was said, it was done in a kind of sarcastic way, recalling my Grandmother and her odd ways.

Eyebrows were raised, heads would shake, there’d be these rye smiles and a chuckle.

Whenever a new pot was bought into the house, a bottle, a jug, a new set of mugs, anything which could hold liquid, the meme would be uttered.

“Make sure you wash that first, a little black boy might’ve peed in it!”

Are you shocked? I totally agree if you are, it’s quite awful.

Mum used to wonder why the pee of a little black boy might be worse than the pee of anyone else, and why anyone would have peed on, or in, these containers at the point of their manufacture anyway?

Where did the phrase originate? Someone must’ve told my Gran, and I wonder by who and when?

And I wonder now, whether my Gran wasn’t the only one to utter those words, have you heard of it before?

On a side note, My gran also used to say “Don’t stand on that cold floor with your bare feet, the cold will go straight to your kidneys” Well we always thought that was odd, but years later I studied Chinese medicine and found, in that, the belief is a meridian line to your kidneys ends in your feet, and that standing on a cold floor is indeed bad for your kidneys (at least in Chinese medicine).

There were a lot of Chinese around gold fields, and herbalists… So the saying came from there.

I hadn’t thought about our mysterious little black boy, whoever he was, for quite some time.

However, I bought a nice green bowl today at Coles for when I have Thai Takeaway, and yes Gran, I washed the bowl thoroughly and raised an eyebrow in your memory.

Wolfie!





Why it’s bigger on the inside.

19 08 2012

This post is about the famous TARDIS and why it’s bigger on the inside.

Now, before I begin, I know this will cause argument, I know also that fans will point to that thing The Doctor said in that particular episode… Though I think by now most of you know “The Doctor Lies”.

In any case, this is just a nice little experiment in expanding the mind, it’s not a fictional story, but what I thought may actually make it work, the size thing, I have been pondering this for quite some time.

Not that it matters, but perhaps I should add that the series began in 1963, while I began in 1965, and ABC has been broadcasting the series since the beginning… The word TARDIS has been coming out of the speaker of our television sets for many years now.

Let’s begin.

I would like you to imagine two spaces, this space… and that space.
This space is exactly that, THIS space, it is everything you can see, including the air, the sky and us.

That space, is the other space and that space is somehow integrated with this space.

Now I’d like you to imagine that This space, you, the table, the floor, the sky, your dog and I are all drawn on an un-inflated balloon… we’re all quite small, unless someone inflates the balloon, and then we all stretch out.

The TARDIS is like the air in that Balloon, and when it lands, everything bulges out like pictures on the skin of a balloon… except… we don’t notice it, because everything else has bulged out too… we don’t feel it, it doesn’t matter to any of us.

But there’s an interface, a facade between the ship, the inner part of the TARDIS, which is the Police Box, which exists in this space… open the doors and cross the threshold and suddenly you realise that it’s not a Police Box thing which has appeared, much more like a Super Tanker, yet it’s done no damage at all to this space, and your body snaps back to it’s apparent original shape.

Of course objects are going through this space all the time, distorting and stretching things like carnival mirrors or a mouse under a rug, we simply don’t notice.

And we could, once in the TARDIS look out and see everything stretching like mad, but what would be the use of that, so the ship provides compensation so that everything appears to be “Normal”.
Does that sound reasonable?

Wolfie!





Life without kids.

13 08 2012

I just saw a tweet which said “Can you be happy without kids”.
It’s so strange, even now, when people are beginning to loosen up a bit about “lifestyle choices” that there is still a streak of conservatism where anyone who doesn’t bond with someone by the time they’re twenty five, and reproduce, is a loser.

Well I don’t fit that mould, and I know plenty of others don’t either.

Having kids is easy, mostly, but then supporting them for the next twenty or thirty years, is not.

I for one, never saw myself as being “a good husband” as I love my freedom far too much.

I don’t like babies, I don’t like anything to do with babies… unless they’re a baby animal, of the type which isn’t human.

Being a night person, I didn’t want to wake up at the crack of dawn to get the kids off to school each day, and I didn’t want to pour money into looking after them… school books, bedding, lighting, a computer, food, water… endless resources which I’d rather spend on myself and my dog and cat.

Nor did I want to worry about where they were at nights when they came into their teens.

This is my life, and it’s not perfect, but it’s ok, Having kids would not make it better, nor would having a partner make it better either.

There are lots of people out there who have decided not to have kids, in favour of living out their lives.

Yes there have been a few times when I’ve thought about it, but I’m a practical person, and when I think of all the costs, the blood, sweat and tears, which I’d need to pump into it, well no.

When I walk out of the supermarket after being exposed to screaming kids, I’m thankful they’re not mine.

Wolfie!





Bullshit

7 08 2012

Consider this,

Science has the capability to do many wonderful things, and if left to it’s own devices, it would bring us closer to cures for parkinsons disease, cancer, diabetes, deafness and blindness.

But then some idiot pops up and yells “Gods rules” and the whole thing is held back 50-100 years or more while friends and family watch loved ones suffer

The scientists then spend years battling with these arseholes, for that’s what they are, to try to get them to listen to actual facts, rather than three thousand year old fables, written by mad hermits in caves.

And because YOU sit there and think religion should be tolerated, because it’s “harmless” YOU allow these fuckwits to brainwash more and more children into believing bullshit.

Do we want people who can think for themselves, or do we want mindless twats who can only repeat what some kidfucker said in church?

This is the dark ages folks, to future generations who escaped the nonsense of religion, this will be considered the dark ages.

Stop saying that religion is not hurting anyone.
Today was the day we saw Curiosity land on Mars, via a performance which would have stunned any athlete, If we had listened to all the Priests, Bishops, and Popes… all the professional liars, we’d still be in basic homes with dirt floors, no electricity, no computers or phones.
Thanks to Religion, We could be 500 years behind where we ought to be.





Shields down

1 08 2012

Sci-Fi enthusiasts would understand this post better than anyone.

But for those who don’t, the title refers to a starship in a science fiction universe, it could be Star Wars or Star Trek which have both used the phrase… which is in battle, and has been hard hit by enemy fire. So much so that the electronic force fields protecting the spacecraft are no longer in place, leaving the ship exposed and vulnerable to any attack.

I think this is how religion is sitting at this time.

Years ago, had I said anything to counter any religious view, I would have been called a “heathen” and made to sit in the corner for having “ridiculous” ideas.

I would have then pretended that I agree with religious views, but mainly to keep the peace, and I wasn’t the only one in this position, There must have been hundreds or even thousands like me, all around the World.

What a difference now.

I can say that I don’t believe in God, and automatically be supported by many, without having to give any reasons for my views.

Most have heard those reasons from others anyway, does it need repeating?

People are openly talking about atheism and science like never before.

Religion has lost its power to contain these ideas.

The shields are down in some areas of the ship, weakened in others, holding fast in some places… but there is no doubt that the ship is crippled.

The ships passengers are in a state of panic, you can tell by the way they desperately argue with those of us who are backed up by facts, they have no facts to plug their holes with, and they lack their power to frighten us with their mythology anymore.

Would I feel victorious, as an atheist, if I saw the ship explode?

I don’t know.

Because although we tried very hard to get the religious to see things as they are, It’s never a good thing for a person to feel they’ve spent their lives on something that simply wasn’t true, or was never going to work.

But if you do come over to our side, you will:

* Be supported

* Loved

* Understood

And much more, life will go on pretty much as before, so don’t worry. 🙂

Wolfie!