Speedy, The Monster

20 05 2012

I’m not sure why or when it appeared, but as a child, I had a Monster… And his name was Speedy.

Speedy was a big bully.

He used to fill my dreams with pranks like making the taps work in strange ways, or making light bulbs fill with water, or turning the lights off and leaving me in the dark with just him and I.

And He would threaten to eat me, in that polite sort of tone that He had, and I used to have to beg my way out of it until the dream ended.

“Go to the fridge” I’d suggest. “There’s plenty of food in there”

But No, Speedy was pretty sure he wanted to eat me instead, Speedy was an Arsehole.

I don’t really know what Speedy looked like, but he lived inside the switch of the Electric Blanket.

Sometimes I’d be laying in bed and it was as though someone had turned on the Worlds Biggest Vacuum cleaner and was trying to suck me up… I had to hold onto the sheets for dear life.

One day he appeared as a giant raspberry jelly beside my bed, a sort of gay version of “The Blob”.

Then one fateful day, He did it, He sucked me into the Electric Blanket control, and there I was in total darkness, although I could see Him and I quite plainly.

Speedy was happy, and this time he was going to eat me for sure.

“I’ll just have to get some mustard” He said.

But Speedy had made one fatal error.

He looked just like a giant salad roll, which happened to be one on MY Favourites.

And that was the end of Speedy.



2 responses

20 05 2012
Nancy Cato

A lovely Rites-of-Passage story Wolfie. Monsters do tend to stay with us until we eat them…and even then, we can regurgitate and have to repeat the process at times. The good thing though…is that once we’ve found the courage the first time, we gain strength and confidence for any next bouts.
Young kids are at the height of their imaginary powers. While these should be nurtured and guided we must also protect the child from real-life trauma as much as possible because of the double impact of reality and fantasy.
Many struggle with this well into adulthood because they were unable to eat their fantasy monsters…making it even more difficult to deal with their real-life ones in later life.
Sorry Wolfie…didn’t mean to start a thesis but your story gave me pause for thought. Thank you for sending it.

20 05 2012
Wolfie Rankin

No, not at all… I was hoping you’d see it that way.
I had figured it out too, and felt that you would too.

I’m glad that I found a way to deal with Speedy, He was a complete pest,
more annoying than frightening.

Funny how the brain tortures us at night, isn’t it?

BTW, His name was Speedy, but I don’t know why, there were no signs of him being quick.

Perhaps it was a brand name on an appliance which I’d been warned about touching.

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