Heaven rejected.

5 03 2011

I was thinking about dying and going to Heaven, and realising that it could possibly be one of the least desirable places ever.

If it’s full of Fred Niles, and Republicans, and Christians and Tea-partiers, and Homophobic bigots such as the Westboro Church, and people who think they’re so much better than the rest of us, that one day God will hoover them up into heaven where they will spend eternity in the sky, while the strains of Hillsong or Justin Beiber waft endlessly and painfully through the clouds…

Then I think, if I wake up after death and find that I’m invited beyond the pearly gates, that I’ll tell St. Peter thanks but no thanks.

That I’ve had enough of that on Earth and I don’t really need or deserve to spend eternity in Hell.

Then I’ll fly out into the universe and hopefully, eventually, find my place within it.

What’s that St. Peter?

Yes of course you may come too, I won’t tell.

Wolfie!

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