Lazy waste

14 11 2010

I don’t watch a lot of tv these days, being pre-occupied by the internet as I am, I like to hear peoples honest opinions of things, rather than what traditional media feels is safe for our young, virgin minds to see and hear.

But once in a while, rarely, I’ll tune in.

The viewer who chooses to watch a program on a commercial network is subject to the most neuron shattering pieces of crap, often I think that I’m below some standard of thinking in which nobody would hire me for any reason, and I’m quite right, I’m over-qualified.

I saw the Clairol ad tonight, did the two actresses agree to have a lobotomy before doing that one? by the looks of it, one lobotomy would have been quite sufficient as I think there was just the one brain between both Women.

But that’s a minor issue, a raised eyebrow while snorting the word “idiots” is enough to deal with that sort of thing.

Here, we’re living in an age, like it or not, where we must consider the environment. The goal is to stop using products that we don’t need, to think about what we buy and stop the endless waste produced by consumerism.

Now fair enough, quite a lot of manufacturers are being environmentally conscious, especially when it comes to something like packaging, polystyrene beans have mostly been replaced with something that can be thrown into the compost, or at least, the recycling bin.

But out of the blue, along comes these dispensers, which sense where your hand is and will drop a few drops of dettol onto your hands, probably a good thing if you work in a hospital, where a germ free workspace is vital, but we simply don’t need such things at home, surely opening a bottle and pouring out some liquid is a very easy thing to accomplish?

Then we have automatic fragrance or insect sprays, they pump out fragrance or flyspray at timed intervals, so that the air in the room is filled with something that we like to pretend is a nice smell, isn’t that handy?

Alternatively there’s the ones that plug into your power point and release a pong that is sort of like a field of flowers, in the way that bong smoke is kind of like Barry Manilow.

What these things do, dear reader, is not make things easier for the consumer… It’s so that the consumer runs out of the product faster and needs to buy more.

It helps the companys profits to go upwards, that’s all.

Seriously, does owning one of these gadgets really benefit you?

Do you really need to be breathing in a host of chemicals twenty-four hours a day?

And are you so utterly bone lazy that if the dog farts or a blowy finds itself in your house, that you can’t get your fat arse off the couch to go to the laundry to retrieve the spray and press a button?

Gosh, you could end up with RSI of the button pushing finger, that could wreck your entire week.

Spraying a can of fragrance is not a difficult thing should you feel the urge to cover a pong with another pong, but you could simply strike a match, that usually works and generally smells better anyway, and a bit of burnt wood can easily be thrown into the garden (provided it’s completely out, let’s not start a fire!) because it’s wood. snails use them for toothpicks after they’ve dined on your vegetables.

There are people overseas who carry huge water pots on their heads for miles and those people really could use some form of dispenser, which delivers cool, fresh water, whenever they need it.

I can say with all honesty that I am one of the laziest people ever, but if I should get so damn lazy that I can’t spray aerosol then I think I’ll be in trouble, because wiping one’s own arse is at least five times harder.

Breaking News, Fat arsehole found at home on his couch, sucked dry by mozzies, all that was left was a dry husk. A fireman who inspected the home warned people that they must install automatic bug sprays, or put themselves at risk of succumbing to a similar fate.

In other news, Clairol lady runs for Republican seat…





One response

14 11 2010
Grace mccall

The dettol dispenser is offensive and designed to engender fear. Love the article

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