Secret Men’s Business

22 05 2010

I have mostly been bought up around Women, there were few male figures in my family, Only Dad, I didn’t see a lot of my Uncles, and most had passed away by the time I hit my teens. Dad, who now had a Son, expected me to be a fishing partner and wanted me to do all the usual boy and dad stuff… gutting dead bunnies and staring into oily engines, but I wasn’t into it… I felt for animals and wouldn’t hurt them, besides, fishing made dad reek of dead fish for days. Dad would go out with a commercial fisherman from across the street and come home stinking. Even after he showered and Mum cleaned the bathroom, I could still smell it. It turned me right off fish, which I’ve only started having again at 44… but only salmon and only if it’s canned. I absolutely hate seafood.

I liked my Music, If Mum bought me a record, any record, I’d play it till it wore out, I liked sitting in my room just playing with toys or my animals, or watching TV. I had a strong urge to create but had to go without. I really wanted to make films, but in those days it was too expensive so I had to go without.

Anything that was clean, quiet and not smelly, was for me… although I liked a bit of gardening, My Aunt who lived in Ballarat was a keen gardener right into her 80’s and grew wonderful plants and flowers.

Anyway, I’m getting off the subject and dreaming.

The sexes whine about each other, and I really don’t know why, I don’t see much of a difference to be honest, I see fors and againsts in individuals, rather than sexes. Mum and my Cousin seemed to love a really good whine about Men, I wouldn’t defend it, My Cousin had a really bad relationship many years back, which pushed her right to the edge… but to her credit, she survived, and I’m really proud of her for that, so when she let off steam, it was fine with me.

It’s funny how things appear normal and then suddenly you view something from another angle, and the lightbulb sparks into life.

In my Mothers last month on Earth, She bought up something about Men, and sadly I can’t remember what it was. but it was something about sex. I hadn’t been too comfortable talking about sex but since I had gone through chemo, the ugliness of what that did to me made sex seem a lot less worrisome to talk about, so I became a lot more open about it.

I realised then and there, that Mum had no idea how a Man’s body functioned.

I had assumed a lot, I had thought that a Woman would ask her husband how he feels and what’s it like for him, I always thought that I would explain to my wife anything that she needed to know if I was ever to get married (something that would never happen though).

I asked Mum and She said that she had no idea, Dad hadn’t told her anything, I felt somewhat shocked… It wasn’t really my place… But then Dad couldn’t have said anything I suppose, He had very little understanding of his body, he didn’t have the words for it, and felt embarrassed.

So I told Mum everything, I told her what a teenage boy feels, I told her about masturbation, about semen, about how it makes us feel, I told her the lot, and she listened… I think it was stuff that she always wanted to know but she never had access to that information.

Womens magazines are loaded with items on periods, birth, lactation, PMS… they go on and on, but there’s never the raw information on what we males feel, and I think Women really need to know, and they should try to make their guys feels comfortable with the topic and try to get this information out of them.

I don’t feel that Women are a big mystery, I’ve lived with women all my life and yes, magazines and info everywhere, perhaps that’s why I never bothered to go out with them, I’d rather listen to my music and walk my dog. maybe to me there was no big mystery, I’m not sure… That’s not to say I don’t love Women. Women have bought me up, protected and fed me, and have kept me alive when things looked pretty grim, which is twice in my life now, without the Women in my life, I wouldn’t be here.

I hope this has given you something to think about.




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