23 02 2010

If my life was a “Fillum” the first thing I’d edit out would be all the lousy math classes, Numbers and I were never friends, and despite teachers telling me that I would need this education, at 44 years old, I can tell you Ladies and Gentlemen, that apart from the ability to do a few basics, I did not need to be confined to a classroom, feeling utterly bewildered and uninterested for what probably amounted to at least a month of my life… and I’d like that time back, or at least to remove it entirely.

Sport would be next, I’m sorry, I know all Australians are suppost to like sport, but to me it’s about as welcome as skid marks on my underwear. I would cut out most of it… times when I was forced to play something I had no interest in, High School Sports, physical education et al… snip, snip snip…. Times I was waiting for a good movie or TV show which was being delayed by blokes running around on a field, me getting upset, looking at the clock, hoping there would still be time for my program, being fed up when there wasn’t. all that could go.

All the times when I was seriously sick. or got injured, or having someone else suffer, Yes it may have made me a “better person” but fuck it… snip, snip, snip.

I could probably do a fair bit of cutting, but I would keep special time with my family, and cuddles with my dogs, time spent listening to my music, or being with someone I liked. trips to Queensland with Mum and Dad. I would also keep the times that Mum made hot soup for me on cold winter nights, and her boiled fruitcakes with roasted almonds on the top which I’d always steal. and her sandwiches. I would keep the times that I almost went to sleep beside my father as he ran his fingers through my hair while he watched some old movie on tv, and walking the dogs with him. I’d keep the humour of banging a can of cat food and watching three hungry tortoises emerge from the fuscias, and giving a friendly bluetongue his bit of banana, and being bitten by a fiesty budgie who didn’t like fingers in her cage.

My film would be shorter, but so much better.





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