Sex has fascinated me from a very young age.
When I was a kid, growing up in the 70’s, boobs were everywhere, they were in movies, tv shows, newspapers too. My Dad was a delivery man who delivered conveyor belts for local factory, and whenever I walked into an office, I was often confronted with women with huge norgs staring back at me.
I think because of that, because nothing was hidden, boobs were just normal.
So when I saw Women breast feeding, well, that’s what breasts were for.
But now we have a society where breasts are hidden from view and highly sexualised, their display has devolved into an ugly taboo, which has made things worse for everyone, especially Mothers with Babies.
So with this rational view of breasts that I had, I suppose they didn’t titillate me, as much as other blokes, so I had to find other options.
Where were the vaginas? and where were… where were Men?
Not that I could ask at the time, or I’d invoke the “What are Ya, a poofta?”
I really wanted to know more about My bits being an owner and potential operator of those parts.
Once, at Sex Education, I asked the teacher about male bits, and was brushed off with “It’s all too simple”, Well that’s fine, but I haven’t got a womb, I won’t be menstruating… and probably won’t be breeding. (a lot of factors there, marriage never appealed to me, I sadly heard a lot of domestic rows over the years)
Years later, I began to hear Men talking about their parts, and how they thought everything functioned. Their explanations were often colourful, fantastical and wrong.
Balls were some kind of bladder which fill up with cum and everything shoots out from there, um… no.
There’s a sort of bladder between your legs where it’s all stored up… no.
Perhaps they were as frustrated as I was, perhaps they wanted to know too?
So I began to read various items on male equipment to try and get a truthful handle on how it all works, even now I’m not completely sure if I’ve got it right, but I can research thanks to the wonders of the Internet.
So my understanding, and if I’m wrong, please correct me, goes a bit like this.
Men tend to imagine that Semen or Cum, is a singular fluid, like urine, it’s an easy assumption, but wrong.
In fact, it’s more like a milkshake, in which you add milk, flavouring, ice-cream, and shake like mad.
What we call pre-cum comes from two little glands not far from the base of the penis, called the Bulbourethral glands or Cowper’s glands, they are about pea sized.
Pre-ejaculate appears on the head of the penis after an erection or two, and looks like clear fluid which is slightly viscous (thick) like honey.
The fluid acts as a lube, making everything just a bit more comfortable during sex, isn’t nature clever?
Other species have the same glands, but some animals have much larger ones and the fluid is much more copious.
Early on, Catholics suggested a thing where you get off the train before it pulls into the last station… or pulling out before ejaculation. The trouble with that is that sperm are everywhere, EVERWHERE! (Well almost) While born in the testicles, sperm tend to swim off to any old place once they’re out. so lots of babies were born as a result of the mis-conception (see what I did there?) that sperm were only released after ejaculation.
Did you know a thousand sperm cells can fit on the head of a pin? It’s true. Sperm cells are the tiniest cell that the body produces. The egg is the largest.
Then further along, but right next to the Cowper’s gland is the Prostate.
This is one part of our anatomy that many Men have heard of, but are not always sure of what it is, or does.
When My Dad developed Prostate trouble, and needed to have it checked, there was some confusion. Both Parents had heard of it, but didn’t understand what it was for.
I think Gay men would be far more familiar with it than most straight Men, and that’s a shame. It has been called the male g-spot, and many new types of vibrators have been developed to help stimulate it. And no, you don’t have to be gay to get a vibe.
The Prostate acts as a junction, keeping urine and semen separate.
The Prostate itself is rather like a horn on a bike, when you squeeze the rubber ball, the horn honks, and when you ejaculate, you’re honking your horn, but instead of air coming out with a loud honk, which would be weird and inconvenient (“Dora, It seems our Son has finally discovered himself”) a fluid comes out.
You may have realised that ejaculation is like a sneeze, sniffing a cloud of pepper while cooking irritates your nose and your body reacts by sneezing. It’s not something that you can just do whenever you like, your nose must be stimulated to get there, and the penis also needs stimulation before you can ejaculate.
Although a very realistic dream will have a similar effect.
Behind the Prostate are the two Seminal Vesicles, and this is where the “Ice-Cream” is produced and stored if you’re using the milkshake analogy.
During ejaculation, it is released into the prostate, is mixed with the other fluids and pumped out.
It is thought that the white, sticky fluid de-acidifies the vagina, which helps the sperm survive, and also blocks the vagina up, so that a second male would have a more difficult time getting the Woman Pregnant… something that may be of less importance now, but was a big thing during caveman days.
It is also thought that one reason the penis has evolved into the shape it is, is to squeegee fluid from the vagina that the first caveman has left behind.
Ahh the good old days.
Behind the Seminal Vesicles is the Vas Deferens, a couple of tubes which lead to the testicles, and are often full of sperm.
These are cut and tied during a vasectomy, a quick operation to prevent Fatherhood.
As you can probably tell from my description so far, the other parts of the anatomy are before this point, so if you were to have a vasectomy, it would only stop a small amount of fluid, containing your sperm, from being released, you still have all the rest of the milkshake, and shouldn’t notice any difference in your ejaculation.
When you ejaculate, muscles along the Vas Deferens, squeeze and propel the sperm upwards, could it be the flavoring of our milkshake? there’s not much of it, but it is important.
Next is the Epididymus, a tube which is very narrow and coiled up on the side of each testicle. Stretched out fully, it could be up to seven meters long, and is where young sperm, born in the testicles, grow up. I suppose you could think of it like kids entering kindergarten, and entering the vas deferens after high-school.
Then our Testicles.
These are not bladders, but quite meaty, if you were to cut one open, don’t, you will find that they are very solid on the inside.
If you’ve prepared Bulls testicles for dinner, you would most likely have seen what they look like, but you’d be braver than me, I’ll pass.
The testicles produce both sperm and the male hormone, testosterone, which makes us all macho and hairy.
One mystery remains, what gives us that sense of fullness that we feel when we have a lot of semen?
We tend to think we feel it in our testicles, every few days, is it the Epididymus?, The Vas Deferens?, or the Seminal Vesicles?. Perhaps it’s all three. Does the feeling of “being horny” come from this fullness, or does feeling horny produce more semen?
An emotional trigger is likely, much like how we drool if we think of sucking a lemon, give it a try now.
My Mother, who grew up with family who were in the Salvation Army, said that kids would suck lemons in front of a Salvation Army band… causing them to drool and falter while playing their music.
It’s no wonder I turned out the way I did.
In Sex Education we are told that semen will just be re-absorbed if we don’t use it, and while that might be true in theory, most of us know that if we don’t ejaculate within three days (usually) we’re “climbing the walls” as any teenage boy will know who has attempted to hold on for a week… we’ve all tried that one.
Also, here’s an odd thing about the penis, all animals have different styles of penis, which do much the same job, but have evolved in very different ways. Most animals have a bone in their penis, dogs and racoons have bones, but horses and humans lack them, It’s probably a good thing, as bones can, and do break… However a Man can snap his penis when erect, so proceed carefully.
I hope I’ve cleared a few things up, and perhaps busted a few myths.