I often use this blog as a way of figuring things out, and I suppose I could forget too.
When I was still doing radio, as in being a DJ at our local station, I was aware that I was not as healthy as I used to be.
I was frequently tired, and a lot of food didn’t sit well once eaten.
Mum had once found a shop where the owner made fresh chicken and pasta salad, she bought some for me and it didn’t react poorly, so I tried to get it as much as I could after that.
It occurs to me that the auto immune disease I didn’t know I had was playing havoc with me all the way back then, and possibly even as early as my days at high school.
There were often these unexplainable off days.
I began having panic attacks, but now I think part if what was going on was I felt sick, thought I was going to pass out, and was frightened by it so would begin to panic. but that wasn’t always it either, there were places where I simply couldn’t go.
To this day, trains are still something I cannot deal with, and yet I used to love train travel.
So, I was treated for agoraphobia, fear of being out in the open. But the drugs just made me sleepy.
I spent about two straight years inside my house, it was frustrating, I couldn’t help Mum with the shopping, I couldn’t drive, I was stuck.
When I recovered I went to the hairdresser who was surprised at the length of my hair, and clipped it off for me.
I needed to be with one of my parents at all times, Marko was great support too. Later I found that if I was with my dog, he or she was enough.
After Dad died we couldn’t shop for anything other than food, as we couldn’t get to shops that sold clothing, so we made do for years.
On the few occasions Marko visited, we went places where I could get a few items, and that helped a lot.
When Mum died, my Sister and Cousin came and helped me clean up. Marko came too.
Jan and Yvonne took my laundry and washed it, and joked about the holes in my singlets which were really only good as rags, oddly I had not noticed.
Not long after, the local Coles began to sell Singlets, Socks and Undies, so finally I could replenish my supply. I don’t want to be that low on clothes again, so every time they’re on special, I grab something.
I had become aware of shopping online, but could not buy anything as I lacked a credit card, and credit card companies would not let me have one.
Then a friend told me about debit cards, I got one, and could finally order things that way.
And yet, didn’t buy clothes!
I suppose I didn’t know much about local shops having websites where I could order things.
But lately have been buying clothes like mad, perhaps in one way fearful of going back to wearing things which were almost completely worn out.
Mum used to dress me well, and I’ve missed having good clothes, I’ve missed looking as good as I did back then.
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