Ones personal oddness.

Finding yourself isn’t always an easy journey, you have to unlearn a lot of stuff, and go with your feelings… which is difficult because we have these pressures put upon us to “act normal” by society, and we cling to that.

At least that’s how I arrived here, which I’m sure isn’t the end of the road by any means.

I never wanted to be normal, I’ve always thought that normal was another word for boring.
and none of us want to be boring, do we?

I am one of those people who feel completely out of place, I sort of get around thinking “What the fuck?” although I didn’t really know that until fairly recently.

I’ve always been an outsider, or an observer, and rarely “got involved”.
Yes fine, I’m involved with the online community, but that still allows me to be reclusive.

Regurgitator wrote a song called “Song formerly known as” and if you play that, you’ll get a very good description of the kind of person I am.

I’m an introvert, I like peace and quiet, I never work well in a team.

I do things because I want to, and very rarely because I have to, unless it’s something serious which needs attending to… If it’s for Katie or Vicky, I’ll do it as swiftly as possible.

My Sister wanted to know why I wasn’t interested in getting married, and it was mostly because I just could never be a Dad who wakes up at 7:30am and gets the kids off to school, and takes them to sports or whatever… I can’t operate like that, I’d be a very bad parent, so I’d really rather not be one at all.

I think I let people think I’m gay, I am a bit, but I can’t stick the label on myself… the fact is that I feel horribly out of place, being human.

I don’t think I am, really, Human that is.

My spirit or whatever, appears to have got stuck inside the wrong species, and the truth is that at times I can feel really depressed about it. because I’d like to be in love and do all the things my feelings crave, but I cannot… it’s just not possible this time around.

I side with the Furries even though I know I’m Therian, but the Furries understand and I’m welcome to be with them, and I like them, but I still feel horribly out of place.

A fursuit seems like something which would help, but it would be a bit like building a pretend TARDIS, initially lovely, but it wouldn’t really work, of course… and I wouldn’t expect it to either… but it wouldn’t work, you understand.

When I started using social networks, I was concerned about what others might say… others had confined themselves to furry venues, and while I can understand that, I just found it too restricting, I didn’t just want to speak to people because they were furry, there are many people I like who are simply not furry in the least, and I wanted to converse with them too.

So no furry social network has worked for me, I’ve tried them all, with limited success.

One of the things I love to do is make someone happy, there’s not nearly enough joy in the world, so if I can give someone a bit of a laugh, or a hug, or to listen to them when they’re down, I will. I’m a good doggie, I am

Meeting people in the park or a cafe is my way of meeting people, often after I’ve met them online. Yes I am reclusive, but I genuinely do like people… but I want to be somewhere quiet with them, and talk about life.

I don’t like crowds or loud music and avoid both with a passion.

One of the reasons I was a radio DJ was that I could sit in a room by myself and play music, I’m fine with the idea of thousands of potential listeners, that has never bothered me, but I couldn’t possibly do live television.

I prefer being with my dog the most, out of anything, which I think you will have gathered from my photos.

I’m an Athiest, I don’t like religion… mainly because of the hate and bigotry which goes along with it.

If there’s a God, He/She/It can stick it, I’m not interested in them, I’m not a good person for some invisible person in the sky, I’m good because it makes me happy, and it makes others happy too, which is lovely.

Although I don’t really think there’s more after this, I would love another go, and to really be myself and have a good, full life, rather than this edited down version which I’m not terribly fond of.

I’m waiting for something, I’m not sure what, but I am, I have been for a very long time.

Wolfie!

My Freaky TMI idea about Furries from Space.

As Kenny Everett used to say “This show contains Naughty Bits” so be warned.

I don’t know about you, but when I see a cartoon character and they’re not wearing pants… and also lack genitals, well, I find that a bit odd.

It’s not that the cartoonist couldn’t add them, Furries add them all the time with no trouble at all. No the problem lies with society and their warped views on sex.

It’s fine to have people being shot in every other tv show, but show a dick and oh dear, the entire world falls in.

Over on you youtube page, I have a deleted clip from Rockos Modern Life, Which shows a farmer (who apparently can’t see all that well) putting a milking machine on Heffer (Who’s a male bullock or steer) As the machine (hidden from view) pumps away, our hero, quite confused, stands there “ohhhing” until finally his eyes get stars in them and he falls over backwards with a gigantic smile on his face.

Honestly, the people who wrote back saying “This destroyed my childhood”

What if society thought noses were weird or wrong or offensive, rather than genitals, and we all had to wear nose bras, and were deeply ashamed to sneeze in public?

There’s nothing wrong with the parts, they’re just bits of our body.

I had a volunteer position at the Melbourne Zoo years ago, and thought that it was funny that people didn’t mind their kids seeing the animals mating… or just having a wank in the corner, as animals do… but if humans were found making love in the park? hrmmm, I wonder.

Personally I’d just step over them and leave them alone.

OK, so my weird idea, the “meat and potatoes” of this post, uhem…

Sometimes Furry artists don’t want to draw pants on their characters, nor do they want to draw the genitals BUT sometimes they draw a bulge, almost as though the character were wearing a living skin?

Well why not?

There could be an alien being out there in the depths of space which has that sort of body, couldn’t there?

Think of it, a living fursuit, which cannot be removed, but isn’t really attached, except perhaps for the skin around the hands and face.

But in the groin, there is a kind of pouch, where all the goods are kept, and somehow this is quite functional and useable to the species.

The access hole (not to be confused with the other “A” Hole) is also completely hidden, and perhaps can’t even open unless the creature wishes to mate.

Discuss.

Travis

Here’s my bit on Travis, Who you may have read, had included Furries with Child Molesters, Rapists and Anarchists. in a nasty little piece he’d written on the Wall Street Journal.

Travis clearly hasn’t done his homework on Furries, We don’t want Rapists or Child Molesters in our group any more than anyone else wants them in theirs. Surely there is enough information on Furries for any self-respecting Journo to read, so that they know what they’re talking about before putting pen to paper?

However I found Travis’ inclusion of Anarchists amusing, especially when reading his right wing vitriol.

Doesn’t Anarchist mean someone who despises their government and acts against it?

Which appears to be exactly what Travis is doing.

How nice of him to include himself among the nasties he listed, including those horrible Furries.

Wolfie!

Wall Street Journal

Today I met a Furry, what now?

Today you met your first furry, and want to know what it’s all about, so the first thing you do is ask a friend, who claims to know, but doesn’t know that much more than you do.

He says “It’s some weird sexual fetish, I know cause I saw something on TV about it”.

For some, that’s enough info, and they go through life thinking that’s what it’s all about… except it’s about 90% wrong.

Now some Furries would write an encyclopedia on the subject, but I know darn well that if this post dribbles on too long that most, if not all of you will tune out, so lets get straight to the short and curlies.

A Furry is someone who “describes themselves as an animal” in much the same way that someone else might describe themselves as “Christian” or a “Footy Fan”.

Why do they do that?

Well everyone has different reasons, but a few include “Because I feel it’s my spirit animal” or “I’m a big fan of cartoon animals” or even “My mates all do it, so I thought I’d try it out too”.

Now a lot of Furries are highly creative, they can draw, paint, sew, design, write and are also often good with computers, in fact some people have said that if it wasn’t for the furries, half the internet wouldn’t work, I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s a fun rumour.

So, you’ll see Furry artwork, Hear Furry Music, and once in a while see Furries dressed in costumes which they very often make themselves after months of hard work, think of the work that goes into something like quilting and you’ll have the basic idea of the kind of effort involved, more on this later.

You may have probably seen a furry on Twitter or Facebook, and here’s an interesting thing, Spammers almost never use a Furry avatar, so if you see a person with a Furry avatar who wants to follow you, then it’s most likely a genuine person who reads your stuff and likes you.

But the sex? What about that?

Bear (see what I did there?) in mind that Furries are quite often teenagers, so there are a lot of hormones swirling around, so yes, sex is going to be added to the mix, but the sex would be there whatever people chose to do, Whether that’s being in a band, playing golf, surfing, flower arranging, fighting fires… you get the picture… It’s just that somehow people got the idea that Furries have more sex than anyone else, you know, like with the Swedes, Yah?

But Furries generally are more laid back (see what I did there?) about sex than most people seem to be, we’re simply not bothered about people who are gay or whatever, if nobody is being hurt, then it’s fine.

You heard something about Plushies?

Oh that’s ok, People confuse Furries with Plushies all the time, Plushies are people who… have a thing for toy animals, now some Plushies ARE Furries, just like some Builders are Smokers. I’m a Furry, and the idea that someone can get randy over a plush Lion King leaves me scratching my head, but nobody is being hurt, so meh.

Furries can, and have sometimes tried to have sex in their costumes, but many don’t want to, because… as I said earlier, a costume represents months of work, these are not some cheap off-the-shelf item, they are designed for one person to wear… much like an elaborate costume might be made for an actor in a play or a movie… they generally won’t fit other people, unlike a sports mascot costume which could be warn by quite a few people and is designed for rough and tumble.

People can spend $2000 or upwards on a costume, so the idea of rolling around, scuffing it on the carpet and getting it really dirty is about as appealing as swallowing a hair ball, and remember that these costumes can get really hot, so sex, although possible (if the owner really wanted to try) is probably not going to be too comfortable.

If two furries want to have sex with each other, it’s probably best to go into a very dark room together and use the theatre of the mind, their own imagination, as most of us do anyway.

If you meet a Furry, my advice would be to sit down with them, pour a drink, and tell them that you’ve heard a little bit about Furries but you’re not sure what it’s about, and do try to ask the odd awkward question… Furries usually don’t mind, and will generally open up about things.

What have I learnt about being Furry?

Well as a White, Aussie Male, I had no idea what racism felt like, I had some idea because I was bullied at school for years, but racism was something else.

When I was on Second Life, which is a kind of Social Network in a 3D environment, there were certain hate groups which I was exposed to, now these guys had basically decided Furries were “Bad” and were going to destroy their way of life in some manner or other, They were really just a bunch of trolls.

My Avatar in Second Life, was a Wolf (of course), a Furry who walked on two legs.

The hatred which came from these guys, hurt, but also gave me valuable information on what it must be like to be someone with a different coloured skin, who goes through this kind of thing, in real life, everyday.

They tried to promote Furries as sexual deviants, child eaters, people who got on the bus without paying their fares but failed miserably.

Second Life had, and probably still has, a strong Australian community, who saw through the situation rapidly.

Because I was so well-known in Second Life (mainly via ABC Island) the Aussies simply thought Furry = Wolfie.

Therefore almost all the Aussies accepted Furries, and many became Furries themselves.

I had done something positive and was very pleased with Myself, but was also very proud of the Aussie community, and felt that if this issue could be overcome so quickly in a simulation, then racism in the real world, could end, and it could happen fairly soon too.

To wrap up, we’re harmless… a little geeky at worst, and we like to gather in groups at times to get to know each other better. We’re a highly creative and generally welcoming mob who don’t have hang ups about race or sex or sexuality… but we are people and sometimes we gripe about something.

As each Furry brings something new to the table, don’t just take my word for it, ask for other opinions and try to find out what’s going on yourself.

Wolfie!

Furcode

As you know, if I find a new social network, I leap on it, give it a good try out, and then I report on it.

Last night, purely by accident, as is often the case, I heard about “Pounced” which is a furry social network, so I joined up.

Since I’ve only had it for a few hours, I signed up just before bed, I’m not going to say much about it, but the sign-up process was iffy… I was asked which Country I live in and I selected Australia from the list, Then I went down to States and tried to select an Aussie State, but the list contained nothing but US states, Yes Yes, Australia DOES have States.

But then I saw something that I haven’t seen in years, a place to put your “Furcode”.

Really? Do people still use those?

Furcodes, for the cubs, was a line of weird letters and symbols which would generally go at the bottom of your e-mails… and when decoded, it would reveal a lot of detailed stuff about your various preferences.

I’ve never bothered with one, but a quick googling pointed me to a generator.

Good heavens, the questions were just a tad irrelevant, There was one on Mucks and Muds, which for the kiddies were a bit like Second Life, if Second Life was text-based.

Nothing on the more recent games that furries generally enjoy.

Then there was the reference to Usenet Newsgroups, which were a big deal in the 90′s but not so much anymore, Today we’re more likely to be on Facebook, Twitter, Skype or something similar

Then it asked about computer preferences, which were also Archaic, Amiga anyone?

The concept of a Furcode is redundant, Only the geekiest old grey muzzel would still use one. surely a furry QR-Code, which could be scanned by a smartphone would be more appropriate for today?

And for those wondering which State of Australia I live in, it’s Victoria.

Wolfie!

Make your own furcode here:

Waiting at the bus stop

I’m just going to write.

For the most part I do ok, I bury myself in the internet, which I’m good at, but I do it because I’m very sad inside, and I’m continually on the search for an escape route.

I use the bus stop as a metaphor, the bus comes, people get on, and they change or they vanish, they move into a new home, or get some new exciting job, or fall in love, or die.

I never get on the bus, it comes and goes with regularity, I want to go, so badly.

When I had the cancer, I got my ticket, it wsn’t the best ticket I could have had, but at least it was a ticket… and I gave it up.

And often I ask myself why.

Having survived, which I did for Mum and Myself, but mostly for her… It was one year later that I lost her anyway, Mum and I got on so well, and being without her breaks my heart.

I did give Katie a life, without me, all she would have got was the needle, she’s had six years more, and that is something I don’t regret.

I have lost a part of my hearing, I loved music, and since this accident I have been quite depressed… music no longer tickles my ears, I have memories of music that I loved, but I mostly enjoy it in my head, sound is not nice anymore.

And now, if you’ll permit, the strange bit.

You see, this “furry” thing is quite serious with me, I took a survey on this recently and one question was “Do you feel like an animal trapped in a human body” Well yes, yes I do.

And this my friends is not somehing I felt after seeing some “weirdo” talk about their odd furry companions… this is how some people feel anyway.

I was feeling like this as far back as the 80′s, and we didn’t have internet then.

I’d like to fall in love, I would *love* to fall in love, but you understand… there’s nobody, there’s just me.

It’s like the earth coughed out another species and that was me, and there’s nobody else.

I don’t do relationships because I feel so awkward because of this, I so so desperately want to be loved, but there’s this, here, and I don’t know what to do with it.

It’s not like I see someone about it in an effort to be cured, unless homosexuals can be cured, unless transexuals can be cured.

And understand that this is not about my sexuality, this bit, it’s about my inner-being, the part which is more ME than anything else.

My heart goes out to the Gay community and so forth, because I know how it aches,
but… I don’t know how to deal with it.

What am I? Where do I fit in? Why am I stuck here like this?

The pain I have inside is just dreadful, I often feel I’m not wanted, I really try so hard to be wanted.

I want Mum and Dad back, I can’t tell you how much I miss them.

When someone gets on the bus, sometimes I’m happy for them, other times, when things go wrong, it’s awful.

Sometimes I’m just a tiny bit envious.

I’m a little scared of writing this, this is about me, not you, I know some of you are hurting too… I was once in a chat room, many years ago, talking to someone who was depressed, in much the same way I am now… the next day I found they had taken their life.

So don’t take this on board if you’re sad, I’m just having a downer, tomorrow life will go on as usual and I’ll be here.

Wolfie!